Commercial Alternative

10/6/1995 

Long, long ago in a land far, far way, I was a program director.  Okay, it wasn’t that long ago and it wasn’t that far away in distance, though an argument could be made that Sacramento is as long ago and far away as you can get.

The last station I programmed was KWOD.  For many reasons, KWOD wasn’t competing well in the Mainstream Top 40 arena.  Maybe it was because the station had been buried long before I got there; maybe it was because promotional budgetary constraints made the playing field uneven; maybe it was because I did a poor job programming in the face of outstanding competition.  (No, that couldn’t have been it!)  Maybe I was out of my mind.  (A strong case could be made for this…after all, I did pose for a Hitmakers cover!)

Whatever the reasons, we had to find another way to increase our audience.  After much soul-searching and a lot of research, we decided to adjust the format.

Live 105 reached into the outlying areas of the Sacramento metro and was exposing Alternative music to an increasingly loyal audience.  On my many trips to Los Angeles, I heard more and more people listening to KROQ.  It was hard to ignore KROQ’s success since KWOD’s owner also owned KROQ-AM, even though it was off the air

Based on all these factors and more, KWOD became one of the first Top 40 stations to weave Alternative music into the mix.  (Hey, I invented that format!)  It was easy to decide that KWOD should take a more Alternative approach.  It wasn’t nearly so easy to define the parameters that would establish the music inclusions and rotations.

The same is true today…maybe even more so. 

If you program a strictly Alternative station, it isn’t difficult to determine the music mix.  Alternative promotion people keep you aware of what music is available and what is hot.  There are many other radio stations with which you can compare your playlist.  The main decisions faced by most Alternative programmers are: (A) How Alternative do you want to go, and (B) how deep into the catalogue do you want to delve?

The Alternative format is basically artist driven.  Those programming in this format can define the music without a lot of effort.  This is not to say that it is easy to find the Alternative hits, but within the definition of the format, choosing the right music mix is more a matter of selecting the right songs from the Alternative pile rather than making distinctions about what is and what isn’t Alternative.

The task facing Mainstream Top 40 programmers is not so easy.

As Alternative music has gained more and more support from the Mainstream, Top 40 stations have reacted. Many have no choice.

Alternative music isn’t a fad (at least not today…maybe tomorrow).  It is a fact that a large percentage of the Mainstream audience wants to hear a certain percentage of the Alternative pie.

How much and which cuts?  Those are the big questions.

An increasing amount of my time, and that of the rest of the staff at Network 40, has been taken up with this discussion.  Programmers across the country are searching for the right answers…and the right questions.  How Alternative should we lean?  What Alternative songs will cross all the way into the Mainstream?  How many Alternative songs should I include in my music mix?  Is this song the right one?

Programming a Mainstream Top 40 station with an Alternative lean is one of the toughest jobs in the business.  There is no consensus with which you can compare your station.  Each situation is different.  Is your market already served by a successful Alternative station?  Do market demographics offer you a broad or restrictive target?  Are you the only Mainstream Top 40 game in town?  Does an advertising base exist to mirror programming performance?  Do you have the expertise?

In the final outcome, it is the music that matters.  That is why Network 40 has debuted the only chart exclusive to Mainstream Top 40 stations that lean Alternative.  We call it “Commercial Alternative.”  Why?  Because that’s what it is.  The CA chart lists the cream of the Alternative music crop.  Those songs high on the CA chart have the best chance of advancing and doing well in the Mainstream.

Our data base for this chart is small.  We took the most aggressive Alternative stations and those Top 40’s with an alternative stations and those Top 40’s with an Alternative lean and made them a part of the mix.  Market size wasn’t considered, only a station’s musical stance and commitment.

If you are a cutting edge Alternative programmer, this chart will serve as a guide to let you know what “smash” Alternative songs you might be missing.  If you’re Alternative programmer with a Top 40 lean or presentation, the CA chart will show you the right songs to play.  It will give you a great comparison.

If you’re a Mainstream Top 40 programmer with an Alternative lean, say “Hallelujah!”  Help has arrived.  The CA chart will give you a clear picture of Alternative songs with a track record and potential to cross into the Mainstream.

It took Network 40 a long time to compile the data and produce a Commercial Alternative chart.  It was no easy decision.  Our industry doesn’t need another chart just to satisfy the needs and wants of a trade magazine.  And although my experience with KWOD made me sympathetic to the plights of programmers, this was by no means my idea.  The CA chart is truly a reflection of the needs of our industry.  After just one week, it’s already a success.  Nothing Network 40 did before has stimulated such positive response.

Record companies and radio programmers were instrumental in helping to determine the stations included in the data base and with the definition of the chart.  Record companies now have a concise chart with which to prove which records are really crossing into the Mainstream.  Programmers can compare their selections with those of other stations in similar formats.

My thanks to those of you in both radio and records for helping to make Commercial Alternative a reality.

It’s about time

Shrinkage

9/29/1995

Short playlists got no reason, short playlists got no reason, short playlists got no reason to be.

It’s got too many Oldies and not enough hits, it’s Recurrent heavy and it’s givin’ me fits.

Well, we don’t want no short playlists…don’t need no short playlist…don’t want no short playlists’ round heah!

Nashville, forever in love with the song, should re-release Randy Newmans’ classic with those new words.  It’s familiar to everyone already.

Two things are being cut in Country music today: playlists and promoters’ wrists.  And there isn’t a lot that can be done about either.

I often say that it’s not enough to define the problem, we must also offer solutions.  I’m afraid I will be guilty of the former in this Editorial.

With few exceptions, Country programmers across the country are shortening their playlists.  Why? There’s not one major reason.  It’s a combination of a lot of little things.  Over the past two weeks, I’ve talked with programmers in major and smaller markets to get their views.  It seems that no matter the market size, their reasons are similar.

Of course, each believes that there is a lack of good product available.  Programmers accuse record companies of producing “cookie-cutter” records by different artists who all sound alike.  While a case can be made for this point, it’s not all the fault of the record companies.  For the most part, programmers are not likely to add records that don’t fit the “sound” of the other records they are playing.  Record companies can’t be faulted for trying to deliver what they believe radio programmers want. They are in the position of being damned if they do and damned if they don’t

Another complaint from programmers is that record companies don’t give records enough time to become hits.  Records by new artists were once worked in smaller markets first, then moved into larger markets as the records proved themselves.  Most records break out of larger markets now.  And there are a couple of reasons for this.

In the late 1980s, as Country music made its way into the mainstream, major and large-market radio stations were dominated by consultants.  Consultants, for their own needs, like to keep playlists short.  It’s a safer position.  Fewer currents and more recurrents make for a more familiar, if less exciting, sound.  The consultant epidemic hadn’t spread to the smaller markets and those programmers were able to take more chances.  Exposing new product worked in those markets and those programmers were able to take more chances.  Exposing new product worked in those markets and record companies recognized that fact.  Records were broken in smaller markets, then moved into the big time with a track record to back them up.

Then came the 1990s.  Major and large-market Country stations began putting more responsibility on individual programmers and in-house research.  Consultants moved to smaller markets and the situation reversed.  Today, It’s easier, in many cases, to get new product exposed in major markets than in smaller markets because no consultant is involved.

Another culprit is SoundScan.  Record companies saw research proving most records were sold in large markets.  Why were they spending so much money servicing and working the smaller markets?  The ends didn’t justify the means.  On paper, that’s accurate.  But those of us in the radio and record industries have the unique ability to reason accurately to an inaccurate conclusion.

That same research also pointed out that the largest portion of the sales market was the combination of all the smaller markets.  If all the smaller markets were successfully programming a record, the possibility of large sales could also exist.  But record companies are often unable to supply the records to the smaller market consumers because records in these markets are ordered and controlled by major racks…who feel more comfortable buying product that has already been established in, more often than not, the larger markets.

So why does radio in smaller markets have to suffer because of an inefficient product delivery system?  That’s the way it is…or has been.  However, that fact of the business is on the verge of a dramatic change…a change spearheaded by Network 40 that will revolutionize product sales.  But that’s for another Editorial.  Just remember “the Diamond Project.”

Because of instant sales reports, record companies are quick to give up on new projects.  If a record by a new artist doesn’t show immediate results, record companies react.  This isn’t the fault of just record companies.  Programmers see this sale information as well.  They are quick to quote sales figures as an excuse to drop a record early.

And then there is the superstar problem.  Everyone knows that record sales for all artists increase when superstars release albums.  The entire industry rides the coattails of major artists with major records.  The problem arises when major stars go months, sometimes years between releases.  This was one of the major factors that chilled Top 40.  In “The Good Old Days,” major recording acts released a single every three months.  It allowed programmers to feature more new artists because the audience was never far away from a big hit by a big group.  The same was true for Country.

Now, it’s a different story.  The Major acts in Top 40 began building tours around album releases.  The tours became longer and so did the time between releases.  It’s hard to work on an album when you’re touring every week.  Major acts began releasing albums every other year.

The same is happening to Country today.

What’s the answer?  To record companies, it’s more new artists.  There’s no choice.  You have to release more product to find the next superstar.  The only way to produce the next superstar is to give those with talent a chance.  The more new product that is exposed, the better the chances.

To programmers, it’s a shortened playlist.  The audience is comfortable with more recurrents and Oldies.  Those songs are familiar.  The audience is confused by new artists who sound alike.  As I’ve pointed out, this is a good policy for the short term, but in the long run, unless Country music produces new stars, the passion will begin to ebb and Country will face the same problems now plaguing Top 40.

Every Country programmer knows this, but as one told me, “Gerry, I want to live to be 60, but first I’ve got to make it to 30.”

Unfortunately, those are the same numbers now being applied to playlists.

Rules And Regs

7/28/1995

Every gray cloud has a silver lining.  That statement was never more true than when applied to last week’s Editorial.  In an embarrassing column about nothing, I mentioned the KFRC playbook a couple of times.  I was surprised at the number of calls I received (I was really stunned that anyone actually got through it).  Many of you expressed interest in knowing more about the playbook.

I was fortunate in my career to program more than my share of great radio stations in many different markets.  The resumé of my programming journeys can certainly be described as a long and winding road.  WRBC Jackson, WFUN Miami, WMFJ Daytona Beach, KTLK Denver, KRIZ Phoenix, WRKO Boston, WOR-FM New York, KHJ Los Angeles, KYA San Francisco, KCBQ San Diego, KFRC San Francisco, WAPP New York, B95 and KCMO Kansas City, Y106 and  Q96 Orlando, WSHE Miami and KWOD Sacramento.  Not included in this litany are the stations I consulted along the way.

The first few things that come to mind when you see this list are that I programmed a lot of stations, I traveled a lot and I couldn’t hold a job for very long! All of which are true.

I enjoyed every station I programmed.  It was invigorating to take over a radio station, put format adjustments in place, dream up promotions and work with the air staff.  There was a down side, however.  I found myself teaching the same elemental formatics to each new group of personalities.  Often, I would forget things.  Because I had given the speech before, I assumed the new staff knew what I knew.  They didn’t.

So, early on, I began compiling what I called a playbook.  It was everything I knew about programming.  It wasn’t as simple as handing out the book and having everything be perfect.  Changes had to be made to accommodate particular idiosyncrasies at each station.  But at least the basics were covered.

Having a programming playbook solved a lot of problems.  No matter how many meetings you have, no matter how many elements you cover, good air talent can always find ways to do something outside the guidelines of your format.  The talent can always fall back on that old adage, “You never told me that.”  With a playbook, they can’t use that excuse.  Over the years, I came up with a specific rule for every excuse I heard.  After a while, there were no excuses.

A well-designed playbook can give your air staff a feeling of security.  There are no mysteries.  It’s all there in black and white.  If there are any questions about formatics, they can find the answer.  A jock doesn’t always know what a PD wants.  The playbook lays it out perfectly.

It’s not enough, however, just to have the book.  It has to be used.  Let’s face it: Most jocks, by their very nature, tend to be lazy.  It is up to us as programmers to stimulate them past their level of comfort.  If you’re going to have a playbook, it has to be used…daily.  It may sound juvenile, but it’s a good idea to give tests on the playbook.  If you don’t make it important to the air staff, it won’t be important.  Having the staff answer written and oral questions on the basics of different elements of the format in every staff meeting will keep them on their toes when they are on the air.  I required jocks to leave their playbooks at the station.  Occasionally, I would tape a $50 bill or a message to one of the pages.  Later, I would call the jock on the air and ask if the playbook had been read before the shift began.  When they lied and said they had read it, I would ask them to check a particular page number and call me back.

We all know that a good jock must transcend the format.  A good jock must use personality to become special and different to the listeners.  But they must showcase their personalities within the framework of the format.  They can’t be allowed just to do as they please.  They shouldn’t view formatic rules as stumbling blocks impeding their progress, but as tools to help them achieve greater heights.

Execution, without a plan, is ultimately worthless.  You can practice hitting golf balls every day, but if you don’t know the correct swing, you won’t get any better.  Planning, without execution, is just a worthless.  Those who spend too much time on the drawing board will never see their creation come to life.

I tried hard to do both.  I’m a big believer in weekly air check sessions.  It’s all right, and quite necessary, to have rules, but making sure the jocks know how to implement the rules through their own personalities is imperative.

After several false starts, I managed to put down my programming thoughts in the form of a playbook.  Paul Drew, head of programming for the RKO chain, liked the idea and we used the concept at most of our stations.

I make no false claims that these ideas are original.  Different elements were “borrowed” from many of the great programmers I worked with.  Since the playbook was written over the course of years, some influences are easy to spot—particularly the philosophy behind the rules.  It is the direct result of working late into many nights with Buzz Bennett.  Formatic specifics were a direct result of working with Drew.  The playbook is a combination of those ideas, as well as my own, and other unknowing contributors who taught me things along the way.

As the playbook was always a work in progress, some of the specific rules could be conceived as contradictory.  Each has a different level of importance.  Different stations had somewhat different needs.  The rules were always bent to accommodate the needs of individual stations.

And the playbook was always subject to challenge.  If any jock could convince me that his idea was better than what was in the playbook, the rule would be changed.

The concept of a playbook is to make sure that your ideas are shared by your staff.  It also serves as an important tool to help you know exactly what your position is.  Furthermore, it helps you to grow as you add and subtract specifics with each new challenge.

Anyhow, so many of you asked for a copy of the playbook, we’ve reprinted it in this issue beginning on page 10.  You might not agree with all of the guidelines, but I’m sure you’ll agree that the idea of a playbook might be a good one.

Feel free to steal what you need.  I did.

Bull Market

9/22/1995 

Have you felt that cool breeze that’s been blowing through the record industry lately?  You know the one…that tropical number that wafts across your face, gently brushes your hair and filters through your clothes for a brief moment until it backs away for a second or two.  It never really leaves…it just hangs around and occasionally, it will remind you that it’s still there.

I’m not talking about the whistling hawk that’s swept through our industry, leaving bodies buried under piles of sleet and slush.  Nope.  What you’re feeling now is the same wind you can experience on the rocky cliffs of Maui or the southern point of Key West.

Close your eyes and breathe deeply.  Smell the hint of mint juleps?  Maybe a bit of fresh sea air?  Of hope eternal?  Of change?

That breeze is about to fulfill its promises.  No more teasing.  The score is at hand.  The winds of change are about to bring on a tropical storm.  Tropical storms are magnificent.  The wind howls…brilliant lightning flashes through the clouds…booming thunder shakes the ground…the skies open up and rain comes down in torrents.  Your average tropical storm is beautiful, at times scary, but seldom destructive.  And whatever mild disruptions occur in the short term, the end result is always positive, because a tropical storm brings with it food and water for the environment.  It makes things grow.

Get ready to rumble, bud.  The record industry is about to shake, rattle and roll!

What’s it all about, Alfie?  It’s about expansion.  It’s about free agents.  It’s about long-term contracts.  It’s about signing bonuses.  It’s about performance clauses.  It’s about “Who’s next?”

Does it sound like the NBA?  Sorry, Charlie, we’re talking record business here.

I’m talking promotion…right here in record city…with a capital “P” and that rhymes with “T” and that stands for trouble.

What’s the problem with promotion?  There isn’t enough of it and there aren’t enough of them (qualified promotion people) to go around.

The new labels that are busting out all over, combined with those that have undergone sweeping changes of late, have now upped their periscopes and are searching for qualified senior promotion people to run the departments that will make or break the records…and ultimately make or break the companies that sign the acts and sign the checks.

In the next few months, qualified senior promotion people are going to be in the catbird seat.  The money offered is going to be obscene.

Why?  Three reasons.

#1:  The number of new record companies have created a demand unlike any other time in our business.  This, coupled with the fact that there are new heads at many labels who want to make changes in the promotion departments they inherited, means a great many jobs are going to be up for grabs now and in the very near future.

#2:  The collapse of the great marketing theory.  With the growth of the Alternative format came the belief that promotion wasn’t that important.  The Alternative format was all about music, dude.  Heavy promotion to those cool programmers wouldn’t work.  They needed to be “marketed,” not promoted.

Surprise.  They need both.  It’s easy to spot the companies that put all their eggs in that marketing basket.  They are the ones without the hits.

Warner Bros.  Records, perhaps the original innovator of marketing as we know it, has always had one of the largest and most aggressive promotion teams in the business.  Don Ienner, who knows marketing and promotion as well as anyone, said it best:  “It’s all about marketing.  Until Tuesday.”

The companies that relied too heavily on marketing are now scrambling to beef up their promotion departments.

#3:  The lack of qualified senior promotion people.  In the past two days, I spoke with five record company presidents, all asking basically the same question:  “Who’s out there?”  It’s a short list.  Who is (a) qualified to run the promotion department at a major label, (b) isn’t already under contract or (c) wants to leave his or her present situation?

The next question is even tougher.  What good number two people are ready to move up?

That list is even smaller.

The general perception within the industry is that the talent pool isn’t very deep.  Perception is reality in our business, so if you are currently in the shallow end, you need to move out past the breakers and into the deep water with the sharks.

What makes the step from number two to the top spot easier?  Several things.  Your ability to lead and direct a staff, of course.  Confidence from those above that you can do the job.  A good track record.  All of these are important .  But the most important factor is perception.  Does the industry think you are ready to move up?

How do you gain that perception?  Relationships.  Relationships with those in the record industry are important.  Relationships with those in radio are invaluable.

Too often, the number two people in many promotion staffs are bound to their desks, directing traffic around the national office.  They become so tunnel-visioned that they see and interact only with those directly around them.

You want to move up?

Break the chains.  Get on a plane.  Become a road warrior.  Meet and get to know the important people in radio.  Establish relationships with the programmers who dictate the perception about you.  The real weight falls from the lips of programmers.

Those Sr. VPs who are on the short list got there because of their ability to deliver the goods.  You  can’t deliver without relationships.  And the only way you’ll establish relationships is by face-to-face meetings with programmers who make the decisions.  Promotion is about closing.  You can’t close the door until you’re allowed through it.  It takes more than the occasional phone call.  It’s politics, bud.  Kissing babies, shaking hands facilitating and working hard.  What ever it takes, whatever the time.

You want to do marketing?  Take some night classes, learn how to draw and present innovative campaigns.

You want the number one promotion job?  Deliver!

AOL-SOL

9/15/1995

There is a cancer among us.  A cancer growing daily for which, so far, there is no cure.

The radio and record industries have always operated on an “I need to know” basis.  Rumors and gossip have fed the entertainment business forever.  As a part of that business, both those in radio and records have been a part of it.  There’s no way to keep from it.  We feed daily on “Did you hear about…” and “What’s going on?” 

When I first entered this business, I asked a wise old veteran why this industry was so interested in rumors.  He told me, “Because most of them come true.”

The wise old crone was right.  Knowledge is a powerful thing in any business.  Inside knowledge is all powerful in our business.

Much like my politically correct (it had a different definition in those days) father, who would buy “worthless” timber land because he knew where the next highway was planned, most successful executives in our business keep one ear to the ground in anticipation of the next seismic shifts.

Taken as a part of the whole, there’s nothing wrong with “good” gossip.  It serves all of our interests from time to time.  It even got me my first major-market programming gig.  While working in Phoenix, I started a rumor that I was going to Boston to program WRKO.  At that time, no one from WRKO had contacted me and I knew no one in the RKO organization.  The rumor made the trades, the GM at WRKO read it and called me for an interview.  Bottom line:  The rumor came true.  I left Phoenix to program WRKO in Boston.

Rumors and gossip boil down into two categories: good and bad.  The good rumors are positive statements about people in our business that might be moving to better jobs.  These rumors occur daily, often, as outlined above, started by the very individuals who are seeking better positions.  Having this industry say positive things about you is like an actor’s name in lights.  How are you going to conquer the world if nobody knows your name?  I’ve always encouraged “good” rumors.  How can we go wrong by saying positive things about our colleagues?

The “bad” rumors are another thing entirely.  These are ugly statements about people in our business…disparaging comments about their ability, connections, actions, looks, etc.  As much as I wish these “bad” rumors would disappear, they won’t.  Because we are in a business that feeds on itself, these “bad” rumors will continue to be a fact…just as those classified as “good.”

However, our industry has always had a built-in immune system that fought these “bad” rumors.  Most of us refuse to perpetrate these ‘bad” rumors…particularly if they are about our friends.  When these “bad rumors run into enough defense, they go away.

Unfortunately, these “bad rumors have a new carrier…one that is much harder to combat.  With the advent of the computer system, unreliable rumors and gossip are allowed to run amuck.  There is very little we can do about it.  Anyone and everyone with a modem can dial up AOL and say virtually anything and everything about others.  The cowards among us (virtually all of those using the gossip channels on AOL) are allowed to spout vile and venom without fear of reprisal.  There’s nobody there to say, “Wait a minute, that’s not true,” or “Hey, you’re talking about a friend of mine,”

We’ve become entangled in the web of the Internet.  If you’re on AOL, you’re S.O.L.

Lately, the rash of ugliness has broken across the face of the industry in big splotches.  More than one record company president was vilified to the point of predicting the demise of their careers.

Certain promotion people have been crucified for a variety of usually senseless reasons.  We’re talking drawn and quartered here.  More down was predicted.

A couple of weeks ago, a particularly nasty tirade appeared on AOL about our opposites at Hits.  Because the message was so well written (I guess I’m supposed to take that as a compliment), several of my colleagues called to ask if I was the author.

I wasn’t.  If I had written it, I would have signed my name.  Whether or not some of the comments are true is not the point.  The point is that these messages are written by cowards who hide behind anonymity.  They take shots with no fear of recrimination.

I understand that some people think this cloak of secrecy might be helpful. Because no one knows who is leaving the messages, some feel safe in commenting on people in power.  Some may use this forum to criticize their boss or their company.  Certain ugly truths may come to light that would otherwise remain hidden.  I have serious reservations.  Throwing ink into the washer with out a bottle of bleach handy can leave stains that will last forever.

Talking ugly about others or starting “bad” rumors is a fact of life in our industry.  As I mentioned before, in some cases, it is even healthy.  But talking with others always  provides a stopgap.  You might be wrong.  Someone might change your mind.  If you’re way out of line, someone might sue you.

Put simply, to write whatever you want without admitting you wrote it is chickenshit.

Network 40 doesn’t use rumors from AOL.  We don’t read them.  No one should.  It’s not right.  And there’s another reason.  Anonymity isn’t guaranteed.  Several people haven’t  covered their tracks well enough recently and have been busted.

Good!

If everyone in the industry stopped feeding the gossip-mongers on AOL, this useless bullshit would cease.  Though you can dismiss it as no big deal, it is, at the very least, time-consuming.  If someone writes something about you, you’re going to be fielding calls from people asking, “Did you read what someone wrote about on AOL?”  If something is written about your company or boss, you’ll be getting the same calls.

Of course, just by writing this column, I’m sure I’ll be the target of some nameless coward next week.  Who knows, if it’s well-written, with no mistakes or grammatical errors, maybe some of you will call Hits and ask them if they wrote it.

Everyone knows it couldn’t be R&R.

That Guy Sucks

9/8/1995

Which of the following statements doesn’t fit:  Labor Day Weekend; golf, playtime; sunburn, tanning lotion; poolside margaritas; cool tunes on the radio; obnoxious deejays.

If you answered poolside margaritas, you need to stop drinking…or start… whichever is more appropriate.

Obnoxious deejays.

Is anything more irritating?  Nothing can turn a listener off quicker.  And nothing burns into a listener’s brains more.  So why don’t programmers spend more time working with and instructing talent t o ease this obvious stumbling block?  Programmers spend hours laboring over music computers, station production, flow clocks and promotions, yet one ignorant deejay can blow the entire station’s image with an inconstant presentation.

This problem is most prevalent during weekends.  Scheduling weekend air shifts is one of the biggest headaches for programmers.  No full time jock wants to work a weekend shift.  Most have no choice.  But they all want specific shifts that may not be right for the station.  It’s hard enough to find talented people in major or large markets…It’s nearly impossible in smaller markets.

Unfortunately, weekends are the most important days for attracting new listeners.  Most listeners are creatures of habit during weekdays.  Seldom do they stray from their favorite stations.  Not so on weekends.  Maybe they’re dating someone whose musical tastes are different.  Maybe they’re in situations that call for a different station than the one they’re accustomed to listening to during the week.  Maybe it’s because weekends are not so structured and therefore provide more time for listeners to sample different stations.

For all of these reasons…and more…weekends should be of extreme importance to you and your deejays.  You can’t afford to have potential listeners tuning in to your station then quickly tuning out because “that guy sucks.”

Not that offensive deejays are exclusive to weekends.  Far from it.  There are more than enough bad jocks to go around.  And lately, they seem to be going around like an epidemic.

Not so long ago I wrote an Editorial on getting the most out of air talent.  It doesn’t seem to have worked.  At least not on my stations of choice in Los Angeles.  If I repeat myself, perhaps you should repeat some of these suggestions to your air staff.  They obliviously didn’t get it the first time.

Communications is the key to being a good programmer.  It is also the key to being a good jock.  Communication between PD and the air staff is the combination that will open the lock.  Just because part-time deejays only work a few hours doesn’t mean you should spend less time instructing them on the format.  The truth it, you should spend more.

Deejays must know who their audience is.  Since most don’t, it is up to you, the programmer, to explain it to them.  Make sure each deejay knows how to relate to the audience.  Make sure that the jock knows that it is the listener who is important…not the deejay.  And make sure each jock knows that the weekend audience is not the same as those listening Monday through Friday.

If the music is right, if the promotions are right, if the presentation is right, a good jock can add to those elements to make a station better.  Except for those jocks who are more important than the music (Howard Stern, highlighted in this week’s magazine on page 12, is the perfect, and maybe only example), an air personality’s job is to accentuate the positives of the format.  It is not an air talent’s job to be important…it is an air talent’s job to make the station important.

On weekend shifts, this rule should never be broken.  Jocks are there to pimp the music…pimp station promotions…and that’s all.  No funny bits…no cute comments…no weak attempts at being hip.

It’s simple.  Shut the hell up.

Weekend promotions should be simple call-in-and-win contests.  Nothing more.  If the contests have listener interaction, make sure the bits are kept short.  Besides a name and city, jocks should only ask contestants yes or no questions.  It keeps the jock in charge of the call.

Weekend jocks shouldn’t ask a winner, “How do you feel?”  That gives the listener an opportunity to stumble around forever.  A weekend jock should say, “You just won… isn’t that great?”

Yes or no answers.

Weekend jocks shouldn’t be allowed to talk about themselves.  Nobody cares where they came from…how long they’ve been in town…what movie they saw last night.  Just pimp the music.

Long contests on weekends are losers.  Soliciting contestants is hard enough on weekdays.  On Sunday? Forget it.  More than likely, you’ll have 12-year-olds playing along.  This weekend, I was listening to a station that had a great Labor Day musical presentation.  Nothing but hit after hit.  Then a shift change occurs and the next jock, who normally does a different shift during the week, decides he wants to impress the audience with his “hipness” by playing a stupid contest.

He solicits contestants.  Nobody calls.  He continues to beg and finally gets someone on the phone.  They didn’t know about the contest.  So the jock explains it to them.  (Forget we’ve already heard the explanation several times.)  Then the jock can’t hear the contestant.  He asks their name not once, not twice…but three times.  Of course, the jock can’t hear the lame answers to the lame contest either.  It lasts forever.

Oh, by the way.  The contestant finally won.  The prize?  A station T-shirt.  The listener then asked to make a request.  The jock replied, “Sorry, we don’t take requests.”

Perfect.

Nothing is more irritating to a listener than a bad jock.  And the truth is, there aren’t really any bad jocks…there are ignorant jocks.  There are those on the air who think they have something more important than the music to share with the audience.

If I want someone to share their thoughts with me,  I’ll call the psychic hotline.

It is up to the programmers to put jocks in their place.  And the proper place is within the boundaries of the format…not outside.  Otherwise you’ll get an audience response you don’t want.

“That guy sucks.”

Dealing With People You Hate

9/1/1995 

I saw a book this week titled “Dealing with People You Can’t Stand.”  I immediately couldn’t stand the author.

I didn’t read the book, but I could tell by the title that it skirted the issue, particularly in our business.  “Dealing With People You Can’t Stand” won’t cut it in our industry.  It’s not strong enough.  That’s why this Editorial is called “Dealing With People You Hate.”

Because of the nature of our business, we have to deal with people we hate every day.  More often than not, the ones we hate the most are the ones we have to deal with the most.  Maybe that’s why we hate them.  I don’t necessarily mean that we hate the people.  It’s that we hate to deal with the personalities of the people we encounter.  We don’t have the time to develop relationships with many of those with whom we must do business.  To truly hate someone, it is necessary to get to know them.  However, hatred for particular attitudes, personalities or acts doesn’t take nearly so long.

So I guess this Editorial should be called “People Whose Attitudes, Personalities Or Acts We Hate.”  But that would be too ambiguous and if that was the title, I would hate myself.

This Editorial identifies those we hate and gives you some pointers on how you can deal with them more effectively.  I’ve divided the particulars into four broad categories.  You might have more or less, but you aren’t writing the Editorial.  Don’t you hate that? For me, these categories work.  Hopefully, they will work for you.  If not, you can hate me.

“Carson Confrontation.”  Carson is the guy who approaches each conversation like a war.  He doesn’t just want to argue his point, he also wants to argue yours.  He wants not only to prove he’s right, he wants to prove you’re wrong…and ignorant to boot.  Carson doesn’t speak, he screams.  Carson believes volume will outweigh his lack of facts.  Carson very seldom has facts.  He picks a position that fits his mood and runs with it…usually over the person in front of him.  Carson throws his arms, stands with his feet apart and moves into the space occupied by the person he’s confronting.

How do you get along with Carson?  By confronting him.  Do not run away from his bluster.  If the facts are in your favor…argue them…loudly.  Imitate his body language.  Stand your ground.  You might not win the battle, but you can win the war.  Confrontationists expect to run over people.  They developed their personality for a reason.  They grudgingly respect someone who fights back.  Also, the confrontationist likes to win every argument.  If he knows you will argue back, he will choose another target.  Just make sure you have your facts totally correct.  If you’re wrong on one tiny thing, he will harp on it forever.

“Kristi Know-It-All.”  Kristi has all the answers.  You have none.  She’s sure of it and will make you aware of it early in any discussion.  Kristi will interrupt any explanation on your part and say, “I know that won’t work.”  You can explain all you want, but it does no good.  She’s quick to point out all of her experience, her education and her intelligence in killing your ideas with a broad stroke, never getting around to specifics.  You can’t argue with her because she’s unwilling to listen.  She’s the program director who tells you a record won’t work on her radio station.  Period.  If you’re foolish enough to ask why, she’ll tell you it’s because she knows how to program her radio station and you know nothing about it.

How do you crack this nut?  By carefully doing your homework.  Find out what Kristi wants and provide accurate information that will lead her to her own conclusions.  Deal with her by letters and memos.  Kristi read more than the average person.  This is one of the reasons she thinks she knows it all.  She hates confrontation.  Outline, in writing, how your proposal will lead her to the decision she wants to make.  Then she’ll believe you’re almost as well-read and intelligent as her.  This is a double-edged sword, for she might make you a compatriot.  Then you’ll have to sit through long discussions while she tries to prove how smart she is.

“Annette Agreeable.”  Annette agrees with almost everything anyone says.  Annette doesn’t often offer an opinion of her own.  Annette hasn’t heard a record she doesn’t like.  Ask her about one of yours and she’ll probably answer in the positive.  She’s quick to let you pay for dinner or trips or anything else.  She hugs you when you meet because you’re one of her close friends.  She’s the epitome of the phrase, “It looks good for next week.”  It’s easy for Annette to forget about your record or your request as soon as you’ve left her because it’s a pretty good bet that Annette hasn’t listened to a word you said.  Annette also has another person to see right after you.  It’s impossible to pressure Annette into a decision on the spot.  You wind up feeling so positive about your proposition that you’re astounded when what you’ve proposed doesn’t happen.  If you confront her on your confusion, she’ll probably just smile and, “We’ll take care of it next time.”

Annette is a tough one.  Your best bet is to schedule your meeting or call with her as close to her decision time as possible.  If you’re the last one giving her advice, she’s more apt to remember a little of what you said.  If you’re trying to get a record played, call her often and at the last minute.  If you get her just before she does the list, you’ve got a shot.

“Andy Avoid-And-Deny.”  Andy is the worst.  He’s quick to pick up on something you supposedly said or did and hold it against you.  For no reason that you know of, Andy will refuse your calls.  He will put you off forever and then when you finally get the opportunity to talk, he will deny that anything was ever wrong.  He has every excuse for not taking your calls, none of which are the real reason.  When you see him, he’ll act like one of your closest friends…the not take your calls again for days or weeks at a time.

How do you deal with him?  You don’t.  He has a small group of support people who feel the same way. They would rather talk among themselves and criticize others rather than work productively.  Get someone else to pitch your case.  It’s the only way.  And when he finally comes around…suck up.

Then go home and hate yourself.  It’s part of your job!

Shut Up And Deal

8/25/1995

The hustlers and hookers they filled the room…down at the place they call the Spanish Moon…

Big John waved a hand in front of his face.  “I can’t breathe from all of the smoke in here.”

I got up to open the doors leading into the backyard.  The room had started getting cloudy after the first hour of the weekly poker game.

“Fight fire with fire,” Barney growled, tossing a cigar in his direction.

Big John turned up his nose.  “I don’t like smoke.”

“Neither do I,” Barney snarled as he inhaled another Marlboro.  “Shut up and deal.”

Smiley grinned and stared at the lights.

There was whiskey…and bad cocaine…the poison will get you just the same…

“What in the hell is that music?” Big John blared.

“Man, you bitch too much,” Burt grumbled.  He nudged Barney.  “I told you we shouldn’t have invited him.”

“Nobody invited me,” Big John said.  “I just showed up on my own.”

“How’d you know how to get here?”

Big John matched Smiley’s grin.  “I just drove around until I saw all the buzzards circling around this house.  I knew I’d find a bunch of dead losers in here.”

“Man, that’s cold,” Little Stevie One said.

“Shut up, boy,” Big John coughed as he lit the cigar.  “Nobody invited you, either.  You wouldn’t be at this game ’cept you’re visiting from New York.  We’ll take East Coast money anytime.”

“Don’t break hard on my buddy,” Little Stevie Two jumped in.  “I invited him.”

“You shut up, too,” Big John spat.  He cast a derisive glance at the two Stevies.  “I don’t know why we let radio people in this game anyhow.”

“So we can take your money legally,” Little Stevie One said as he threw five white chips into the middle of the table. “Ante up.”

“All you guys can it!” I put in my money.  “That’s getting awfully close to business talk.  One more slip and it’ll cost you fifty dollars.”

“The hell you say.” Big John made the pot right.  “Besides, you’ve got this music playing.  I’m sure that’s a subliminal message your subtle, skinny ass is trying to get across.”

“It’s Little Feat, you idiot,” Burt laughed.  “It’s so old, you worked it at Columbia.”

Big John slapped his hand down.  “That is business talk, boy, put fifty in the middle.”

Burt flipped him off.

“Play cards,” Johnny C said from the corner.

“Play cards?” Barney lit another cigarette.

“You’ve been in the deep freeze ever since you won the first two pots.  Why don’t you try staying in a hand for a change?  You’ll never make it to the car with all that money anyhow.”

I checked my hole cards and made a Plen bet.

“What’s the game?” Big John asked.

“Seven card Macintosh, high-low, two spit cards and you can buy a card for twenty.”

Big John made a face.  “How do you play?”

“Just call the two dollars and we’ll teach you as you go along,” I told him.

“I’ll be damned if I’ll do that,” Big John cried.  “All you guys want is my money.”

“You sound surprised.”

Big John shook his head.  “Nope, just hurt.”

“You keep playing all those hands and you’re really going to get hurt,” Kevin snickered.

Big John gave him a look.  “When I want your opinion, hot shot, I’ll beat it out of you.”

“Come on,” Barney snapped, “bet or fold.”

Big John’s eyebrows twitched and he shot a quick glance in Kevin’s direction.  He threw two chips in the pot and said, “I’ll bet a Seaweed.”

“Foul, damn it!” Johnny C yelled.  “He’s talking business.”

“Fifty bucks, Big John,” I said.  “You know the rules.”

Big John shrugged his shoulders and put in fifty.  “It was worth it.”

“Call the Seaweed,” Smiley said, “And raise you a Lenny Kravitz.”

Before Johnny C could object, Plen tossed in another fifty.

“This is getting bad,” Little Stevie Two said.

Barney studied his cards, pursed his lips and reached for another cigarette.

“You gonna bet or look at those cards all night?” Burt asked.

Barney reached for his chips.  “Call the Seaweed and Lenny Kravitz,” he paused dramatically, “and raise a Prince and a Tom Petty.”

Kevin threw his cards down.  “This is really getting out of control.”

“Hey, I’m paying the tab,” Barney said as he threw in one hundred dollars.

Burt folded.

“What’s up with you?” Big John asked.

“They’re already playing all of my records.”

Cards turned and the chips piled up in the middle.  The table got tense.  Smiley wasn’t smiling.  Johnny C was in the freezer.  Big John held his cards closer than a newborn child.

“Showtime,” Smiley said.   “Let’em flop.”

Little Stevie One already had the lock low.  It was a matter of who would split the pot with him…Big John or Little Stevie Two.

“Read’em and weep,” Big John cried.  “Full house…Aces over Queens.”  He reached for his share of the money.

“Not so fast,” Little Stevie Two said.

The table quieted down once more.  All eyes were on the second Stevie. He played the moment like a maestro.

“Turn’em over,” Barney ordered.

Little Stevie Two did.  “A blaze,” he said proudly.

Big John stared at the cards.  “A blaze?” he yelled.  “What the hell is a blaze?”

“Three diamonds, two hearts,” Little Stevie Two answered.

Big John’s face turned beet red.  He leaned back in his chair and bit his lip.  While the two Stevies split the pot, Big John opened his mouth a time or two to say something, but never did.

Finally, he leaned over and whispered in my ear.  “Does a blaze beat a full house?”

I nodded.  “It does in this game…as long as a radio guy is holding it.”

He shook his head.  “That don’t hardly seem right.”

I shrugged.  “So, what are you going to do?”

He was quite for a moment, then began shuffling the cards.  “Shut up and deal.”

Alternative Ending

8/11/1995

The radio was blaring, “The thrill is gone…gone away.”

She made a face. “What is that crap?”

Before I could tell her the tuner was scanning, she punched a button, twisted the volume knob and KROQ was pulsing like a bright neon light.

“Know who that is?” She asked

Fast ball.  Right down the middle.

“Nirvana,” I sneered.  “What is this, a test?”

Her eyebrows formed semi-circles as she shot me a look across the bridge of her nose.  “What does that group have to do with tonight?”

It was a test.  I hit the ball out of the park.

“The guitar player from Nirvana is in the Foo Fighters.”

She wasn’t impressed.

I brought her with me to make sure I was on the cutting edge of the Alternative scene.  As Network 40 is getting closer to the Commercial Alternative section we’ve been planning, I needed to involve myself deeper in the netherworld.  She would be my guide.  Not that I needed much guidance.  I reminded her that I had invented the format.

She still wasn’t impressed

“Put the car phone under the seat so no one will steal it,” she said.

First there was the diner at some Italian restaurant with Jeffrey, Chris and Brian from Capitol Records.  Lopes kept quoting from The Satanic Verses.  I couldn’t figure out why and didn’t try very hard.  I couldn’t talk with Jeffrey.  He was too busy hanging with his boy, Robert Woods.  Brian was talking with her.  He told her I invented the format.

She still wasn’t impressed

The trouble started at the Troubadour.  Supergrass was putting on a show and I was bogarting a warm, watery beer.

“Yo, chick, what’s up?”

I heard the voice behind me.  She rolled her eyes.

“Gerry,” she said, “this is Zandar.”

I turned around and immediately wished I hadn’t.

“Dude, it’s good to meet you,” Zandar shouted over the band.

I nodded.  There was no need to speak.

“What are you guys doing?”

She told him we were listening to the band, then heading to see the Foo Fighters.

He was impressed.

“Got any extra tickets?”

I pretended not to hear him.

“I don’t have any money, but I can give you some of this.”  He held out his palm.

I shook my head.  “Been there, done that.”

“Dude, It’ll make you see Jesus.”

I thought I was looking at him.  Except that in all the pictures I had seen, Jesus had never been depicted with fluorescent blue hair.

“I’ll take a pass on the pills, Zandar.”  I handed him a shot of tequila.  “But I’ll share a couple of these with you.”

“Far out, dude,” he shouted.  “What is it?”

“Just drink it.”  I knocked mine back.

She wasn’t impressed.

The hype on the Foo Fighters is big.  But not big enough.  The band was, in Zander’s words, “Awesome, dude.”  We stayed through the last chord, then headed for Before Dawn, a little known after-hours club just off the strip.  She asked for the phone to check her messages.  Zander was lying on the hood, trying to catch bugs in his mouth.

We were half-way through the first set of Secret (LA’s best unsigned band) when a truly Alternative urge hit me.

“I want a tattoo.”

She looked at me.  Impressed. Finally.

“I’ll show you where I got mine.”

“Great.” I took a step back and waited for her to show me.

She made that face again.  “No, I mean the parlor.  It’s right down the street.”

I took another shot of courage.  “Let’s go.”

She and I walked into the night.  Zander was right behind.

Inside the tattoo parlor, I was met by a half-naked man with no hair.  Lot’s of tattoos, though.  She was on a first-name basis with him.

“My friend wants a tattoo.”

He looked at Zandar in disgust.

She grabbed my arm.  “No, this one.”

He gave me the once over.  “What did you have in mind?”

I shrugged.  “Something small on my butt.”

I got the look he’d just given Zandar.  “On your butt?  Then it’ll be hidden.  Why don’t you let me put a giant eagle across your chest?”

“Why don’t you kiss my ass before you put a needle in it,” I snapped.

Zandar passed out in corner.

She pulled me over to a wall covered with pictures of tattoos before the guy could put a needle in my eye.  “Let’s pick one of these.”

I passed on different variations of “Mother.”

“How about a rose?” she suggested.

“Nope.”

She pointed to a dagger.

“Nope.”

“Well, what do you want?”

I was about to say I didn’t know, when I saw it.  I took her hand and placed her finger on it.

She looked up at me.  Really impressed.

“That’s perfect.” A smile.  “I’ll bet you invented that.”

She was catching on.

I dropped my jeans and Dr. Frankenstein went to work.  I felt no pain.  When it was done, we left.  The tattoo guy had Zandar spread out on a table, the flying eagle stitched across his chest.

In the car, she asked for the phone to check her service again.  I fumbled under the seat for a while with no luck.

“Maybe I put it under yours.”

She searched for a minute, then sat up.  “The phone is gone,” she sang softly, “gone away.”

I was impressed.

Later we compared tattoos.  Hers was in a place where she couldn’t see it without a mirror.  But I could.  Mine was in a place where I couldn’t see it without a mirror.  But she could.

You think you’ll ever see mine?

A lot of things are going to happen…but that ain’t one of them.

Rules And Regs, Part II

8/4/1995

Programming a radio station correctly is a very fine art…mastered by few…misunderstood by many.

This is the second in a two-part series dealing with a part of the art form: the programming playbook.  Last week we reprinted the first part of a playbook I began while programming the RKO chain.  It dealt with the philosophy behind a winning station.  This week, on the following pages, you’ll find specific guidelines for the mechanics of the format.

Many of the “rules” don’t apply today and it is important that you don’t take this playbook as gospel.  You should compile your own.  Establish your rules and philosophy based on your specific needs and the needs of your station.  Having an overall game plan on paper can only make you a better programmer.  It will also make your staff better because their instructions are clear and your expectations of them are in black and white.

Playbooks, game plans, written instructions and memos are all good.  They are, in fact, almost irreplaceable.  However, much more is needed to establish a winning attitude that transfers to the on-air sound.  Don’t get lost in the planning.  Make sure that your station sounds right.  It’s not enough to put your format, ideas and ideals down on paper.  You have to make sure the format, ideas and ideals are joined by a staff that will take your written animation and make it come alive.

Interaction with the air staff is a key to becoming a winning program director.  This is not to say that you should make bosom buddies with the air talent.  There should never be a misunderstanding as to who is the boss.  However, members of your team should want to work with you, not just carry out your edicts because it’s a job.  Whether or not your staff wants to work with you is up to you.  You must set the tone.

It is your job to meet with corporate executives within your company.  It is your job to deal with the paperwork and politics that are part of programming in the 90s.  It’s the job you’ve chosen.  It is also an important part of your job to insulate your staff from the corporate paperwork and politics.  Don’t treat air talent the way you are treated by corporate executives.  They aren’t a part of the mix.  When you meet with your staff, don’t portray the image to them.

Weekly air check sessions are almost mandatory.  Your staff needs to know that you are listening and that you care.  I always enjoyed meetings where air checks were played and critiqued in front of the entire staff.  This satisfies several goals: each member of the staff knows what you expect from all the others…not just them personally; other members can learn from the mistakes or the perfect breaks of others; each person can critique others.  In years of doing air check sessions with the entire staff, I learned more from the members of my staff than they learned from me.  It’s also a time where the staff can gang up on the PD to bitch about aspects of the format that they might not bring up in individual sessions.

Open air check sessions also create a spirit of comradery within the staff.  It’s all for one and one for all.  It also makes each a better jock.  Knowing that your air check will be played and critiqued in front of the whole group makes each member a little sharper while they are on the air.

Individual air check sessions should take place once a month.  It’s important that every member of your staff have time for some one-on-one instruction.  It’s also a time for individuals to bring up specific problems they want to discuss in private.  When you have these private meetings, make the jock your center of attention.  Don’t take any calls or conduct other business.  You might be extremely busy, but set everything else aside.  Let the jocks know they are important to you and that the meeting is a top priority.

In these private meetings, allow individuals to express their feelings about their working conditions without fear of reprisal.  Input is particularly important to a good program director.  If you ask for input, don’t get angry if the input isn’t necessarily what you want to hear.  Don’t take it personally.  Didn’t you bitch about the boss before you became one?  Bitching is an important part of an air talent’s life.  Let them vent their frustrations.  Often, they want no specific action taken, they just want to know you will listen to what they perceive as problems.

Also try and buy lunch or dinner for each member of your staff once a month.  It’s important that they be able to meet with you outside the confines of the radio station.  No business should be discussed.  This is just a relaxed, social, feel-good meal.

Being an air personality is psychologically one of the hardest jobs in the world.  Not only do they want to be the best in their market in their time period, they also want to be the best on their station.  This can create conflicts within the staff.  It is up to you, as the PD, to control the individual egos without breaking anyone in the process.  Listen to a jock’s concerns.  Take time to explain your objectives.  Point out what you need from each shift and why one particular person works in a time slot while another doesn’t.  Patience is not a strong suit with most jocks.  Try and instill this virtue by building up their confidence and sharing our belief in their ability.  If the situation warrants, give the jock a timetable as to when a change in the situation will occur.  Maybe it’s as simple as moving the jock into another shift when someone resigns.  If you expect no staff changes be up front with the jock and explain the facts.  Offer to find the jock another job in a different market if the situation is untenable.  This usually has a calming, if not chilling, effect.

Jocks have personal problems with others for reasons that have nothing to do with air shifts.  As PD, you’re working with highly combustible, if also very fragile, egos.  Everyone doesn’t like everyone else.  If some member of your staff is bitching about another individual’s problems, try something I used a lot.  Tell the jock, “I know Darrell is having a hard time in this area.  What can you and I do to help him?”  This makes the one bitching a part of the solution, not a part of the problem.

If these suggestions don’t help you, if your staff still doesn’t respond, if you use all of my suggestions and some of your own ideas and nothing works, you always have another alternative:  Replace them all with people who will listen.

Hey, it worked for me!