Author: gerry

Heroes And Villains

7/7/1995.

I was at the Bobby Poe convention.  Aren’t I always?  Bobby has managed a convention through thick and thin for the past 24 years.  Next year’s Silver Anniversary will mark the swan song of the most remarkable string of conventions this business has ever known.  Twenty four straight years…through good times and bad…through high times and low times.  You can say whatever you want about the Poe Cat, but two things remain constant: He’s still passionate about our business and he’s consistent.

Who else could single-handedly do it for 24 years in a row?

Nobody.

As is always the case, there were heroes and villains at this convention, though nothing as controversial as in some past years.

Hero: WPLJ’s Scott Shannon, whose keynote address was truly exceptional. Scott spoke from the heart about his love of the business…a love we all share but are all too often afraid or embarrassed to verbalize.  One of the most inspiring thoughts he touched on was a sense of sharing what we all owe to others in our business.  We are mainly too busy or impressed with ourselves to spend the time sharing our thoughts and beliefs with those who are new to our business.  It isn’t about textbooks and seminars.  In our industry, especially radio, we learn from others who are doing what we are doing.  If there were more Scott Shannons who would share their knowledge and experiences with those who are attempting to find their way, the path would be much wider.  The only problem with Scott’s speech was that there weren’t enough radio people in the audience to appreciate it.

Villains: Those in our business (and in the halls and lobby at the convention center) who were too busy putting down others instead of trying to gain a positive experience.  Why some must be quick to criticize is beyond me.  Our business is so difficult that we should stand and applaud anybody who is doing well.  Those who gossip and back-bite will feed on their own negative thoughts and voices and, fortunately for the rest of us, remain in the halls and lobbies and will never make it inside the ballrooms of success.

Heroes: Andrea Ganis, Danny Buch, Monte Lipman and the rest of the Atlantic staff who put together a miracle.  Who would have thought anyone could convince the majority of those attending the convention that a bus ride would be the “in” thing to do? But there we all were, lined up like a bunch of 12-year-olds, ready, if not anxious, to go to “Camp Hootie.”  Through no fault of their own (terrible weather, a jack-knifed trailer truck on the interstate, etc.), the 45-munute bus ride turned into two hours and 15 minutes.  Why worry? Would you rather be in the lobby dodging people you didn’t want to talk with anyhow?  We’re out of beer! No problem.  Monte is off the bus at an intersection, dodging through traffic to make it to the 7-11.  Before the light changes, he’s back with six cold cases.  And even after all of the delays and rain, the members of Hootie & The Blowfish spent a leisurely hour talking, signing autographs and taking pictures with all who wanted. We even sang camp songs on the ride back!

Villains:  The members of Congress who were given VIP seating to see for themselves exactly what the record business was all about.  For the most part, they were no-shows.  I guess they compared the concert with a vote on some legislation and chose to abstain.  Maybe we can cut them some slack.  The weather was dreadful and they weren’t invited on the bus.

Hero:  Eddie Money, who withstood the rigors of a cocktail party in his honor.  He managed to smile and shake hands and pretend to be interested in every person who walked through the door.  And since I know Eddie, I know he wasn’t pretending.  He’s a trooper.  And a friend to radio.  Is there a program director out there who hasn’t asked Eddie for something and had him not come through?  If you aren’t playing his record, you should be ashamed.  He’s one we owe.  Pay him back.

Hero: Columbia’s Jerry Blair, who guided three cows through the lobby and to the pool to promote Buckshot LeFonque.  Is there anyone but Blair who could have pulled it off with such panache?  Is it true that there was a party later with the herd in his suite:  Is there a Page 6 picture floating around somewhere?

Villains:  The security guards and hotel manager who went apoplectic.  At least they didn’t shoot anybody.

Hero:  The Poe Cat himself.  For 24 years, Bobby has been sponsoring a golf tournament, but he never played.  Bobby began taking lessons last summer and for the first time, entered his own tournament.  I had the “privilege” of playing with him in the first group.  Things were going well until the 18th hole.  It’s a little dog-leg left with a four-lane highway running beside it Bobby’s first shot was right down the middle, but his second got away from him.  It was a mighty slice that cut over the trees, bounced in the middle of the road, through an Exxon station on the other side and finally came to rest in the flower bed.  I must admit, there was a bit of money riding on the outcome and our hopes looked slim.  Bobby said, “we concede nothing,” then took off across the highway, a five-wood in his hand.  Our partners protested, but Poe accurately pointed out that there were no out-of-bounds stakes next to the road and he would “by God” play the damned ball with no penalty.  He took and arrogant stance, roses tugging at his knees, bit his lower lip and loosed a terrific swing.  From a cloud of dirt and shreds of flowers, the ball took off.  It was low.  Headed right for the Corvette with the big guy pumping gas.  At the last second, it curved upward, just missing the pumps.  It continued to soar over the four lanes of traffic. Clipped the top of the trees lining the fairway and dropped down a mere 100 yards from the green.

Unfortunately, by the time Bobby finished putting, he had wasted a few more strokes.  He evidently needed a bigger challenge than just some sand traps.  When he finally holed out, he looked at me, winked and said, “That was a hell of an eight!”

No doubt about it, Bobby.  It was the best I’ve ever seen.

And so was the convention.

Press!

6/23/1995

I was in trouble early.  And I knew it.  I had journeyed to Nashville to play golf with my good friends Wynn Jackson and James Stroud.  I use the word “friends” advisedly.  When you’re deep in the heart of Dixie and playing golf for cash money, your friends are more apt to chop you up than your enemies.  Down here, everyone carries a razor.

Our other two playing companions were Dirt and Herky. Now the first rule of golf is:  “Never play for money against strangers with nicknames.”  I never gave it a thought.  I was in Nashville to have a good time.  Besides, I was with friends.

I drove the first ball of the morning right down the center of the fairway.  I was posing like TV Tommy when I heard Dirt say, “Damn, boy, that’s stouter than a bay mule.”

I reach for my wallet, but it was too late. If I hadn’t known it already…I’d been had.

I told Stroud I wanted to play for an ad in the Country Network and he said that was fine and, of course, we would press on the fly.

Press on the fly?  I had never heard this one, but I didn’t want to sound too ignorant so I agreed.  I figured I would find out what it meant soon enough.  I figured right.

I was feeling pretty good about the drive, but the second shot left a lot to be desired.  Short and left.  I had a bad case of the pull hooks and I know I’d have to hunker down or I would be on the way to the cash machine in a hurry.  As the ball spun toward a lake that my partner had “forgotten” to tell me about, Stroud said, “Press.”

“You can’t press on the first hole,” I protested as my ball headed for splash-down.

Stroud smiled, “Press on the fly.  Anytime your opponent’s ball is in the air, you can press.  It doubles the bet.”

I bogeyed the first two holes and the Nashville contingency was grinnin’ like mules eatin’ briars.  Herky got on his cellular phone and a couple of holes later, two more people had driven out to join us.  Evidently the news was traveling fast.  There was a “suspect” in from Hollywood with a pocketful of cash and a shaky game.

I was introduced to Booger and Juice.  Since Booger had the first finger of his left hand buried in his nose halfway to his cerebellum, I knew how he got his nickname.  Juice I wasn’t sure about.

“Gerry’s in all the usual games,” Stroud said.  “He especially likes to press on the fly.”

Booger and Juice couldn’t have been happier.

Around hole number seven, the sun finally broke through the humidity and it started to really heat up.  Dirt allowed how he was “sweatin’ like a hillbilly at a spellin’ bee.”

I pulled another one dead left off the tee.

“Press,” everybody said.

I was struggling and they were loving it.  And the truth was, so was I.  It was a beautiful day.  I was playing golf. I was in the South.  Hell, I was home.

Juice had stuck a wad of chewing tobacco the size of a softball into his left cheek a while back and I now knew where he got his nickname. Along with the chewing habit, Juice also had a rather large stomach.  When he spit his ruminations, most of it got on the front of his shirt.

Wonderful.

Juice explained his colorful golf shirts.  If you get a stain on your shirt, there is a guy who paints the shirt, incorporating the stain into the design.

The painter must do a helluva business in Nashville.

By the time we made it to the 10th tee, I was down $1,200.  I figured I had these boys just where I wanted them.  A double-shot of Jack Daniels at the turn had solved the hook.  The boys fell all over themselves when I doubled the bet.

Fools.  They forgot I was born in Mississippi.

About four holes into the back side, they were quiet.  Herky was mumbling to Dirt, Juice and Booger were arguing about what club to hit and Stroud had cancelled his business with Wynn for inviting me.

I kept yelling, “Press!”

By the time we got to 18, it was dead even.  I teed it up and quacked it dead left in the tall weeds by the edge of a small creek.  Nobody even whispered the “P” word.  I’d been playing so well, they didn’t want to take a chance.

I waded into the weeds, searching for my ball.

“Watch out for them cottonmouths,” Booger grinned.  “They’ll sting you if they get a chance.”

I was ankle-deep in branch water, searching for the lost Titlist, when I saw the snake cutting through the water like a speedboat, mouth gaping, heading right for my ball.

Without thinking, I swung the 4-iron.  There was a mighty splash and the snake flew out of the creek, straight toward Stroud.  It was the only shot I didn’t hook all day.

“Press!” Booger hollered

Stroud stood rooted in his tracks, eyes as wide as the moccasin’s mouth.  The snake wrapped around his neck, then slid down inside the back of his shirt.

He did a quick two-step, spun into a stomp then fell into a sand trap and broke into a full Watusi.  He was on his back, legs and arms flailing, screaming for all he was worth.

“Help me, somebody help me,” he wailed.  “The snake bit me!  I’m gonna die…I’m gonna die!”

Dirt, who had witnessed the entire episode, ran over.  “Stop acting like a baby, Jimmy James,” he snapped.  “You ain’t gonna die.  I’ll just suck out the poison.  Where’d you get bit?”

“On my ass,” James cried.

Dirt shook his head.  “Boy, you’re gonna die.”  He walked slowly back to the cart.

Stroud didn’t die.  The snake was dead before it left my club.  When it slid down James’ back, he freaked out and jumped around so much, the money-clip in his back pocket slipped off the big wad of cash he was carrying around and pinched him on the butt.

When it was all said and done, no money changed hands.  There was a big argument about whether or not I should be assessed a stroke because I played the snake out of a hazard.  It was decided that I wouldn’t be penalized since Stroud wasn’t disqualified for hitting my ball.  That was when he beat the lifeless snake after it slid out of his pants.

The moral of this story?  If you ever go to Nashville to play golf with anyone in the “music bidness,” take a fishing pole.

There are a lot of barracudas down there.

If The Shoe Fits

6/30/1995

“What we have here is a failure to communicate.”

Forgive me for using a line from one of my favorite movies, Cool Hand Luke. I watched it this past weekend. I didn’t know why until today when I found out about the “latest” changes in R&R.

R&R is a lot like Cool Hand Luke. Old and outdated. But at least the movie has some great lines. R&R, on the other hand, has some good lies. I guess if you leave out a letter or a word here and there, a comparison can be made between the two. With R&R, what we have here is a failure.

Unfortunately, the truth is a lot more complicated and dangerous.

This week, in their infinite wisdom, R&R decided to cut the number of reporting stations. Some 28 programmers were told they would no longer be a part of the R&R panel. (Sorry, guys, we’ve used you long enough. We got what we wanted and we don’t need you any more.) About half of these reporters were just added less than three months ago. They were good enough in the spring, but not in the summer? Even new sitcoms get a longer run on NBC.

So, why do I care?

From its inception, Network 40 has solicited and accepted, gladly accepted, playlists from any and every station wanting to be a part of our reporting panel. We are all radio programmers here. We are intimately familiar with the problems programmers face because we’ve been there, done that. We are dedicated to providing our subscribers with any and all information they need to help make their jobs easier.

R&R selects the panel of reporters based on an ever-changing, secret formula that best meets its needs, no the needs of the industry they pretend to service. Does R&R ever ask programmers what’s best for radio? Does R&R ever ask programmers what station should be included in the panel?

Does R&R ever ask anybody anything?

Nope. They just dictate. Whatever is best for R&R on any given day is what the R&R policy is…for that day. If the powers that be wake up in a different mood the next day, the policy changes.

So, what’s the problem? Shouldn’t R&R be able to do whatever it wants? Absolutely. If (and this is a big if) R&R’s policy didn’t affect the lives and well-being of the programmers and radio stations they pretend to serve. The sad fact is that for small radio stations, R&R status means promotional dollars. Many record companies still pay independent promoters based on whether or not a radio station is an R&R reporter.

Why? Good question, one most record company executives are asking themselves almost daily. More and more record companies are revising their deals with independent promoters. Already, record companies are relying on monitored airplay and retail record sales to determine radio stations that are important. Independent promoters should work with the record companies to decide what stations are important, then use Network 40 to track the airplay. Network 40’s panel includes all stations. Those interested may pick the ones important to them, not the stations a trade magazine deems important.

In the not-too-distant future, a radio station’s promotional support will be based upon the station’s ability to deliver exposure and sales to new product. When that time comes, R&R reporting status will be meaningless.

In the short term, however, for smaller stations, R&R means income through promotional considerations supplied by independents, who bill back their expenditures through agreements with record companies. When a station becomes an R&R reporter, the rewards are greater than merely status and recognition. The difference can be measured by the bottom line. So when a station manager projects his expenditures and income based on projections for promotional support, then loses the reporting status, the difference in the bottom line figures can be drastic.

Jobs and careers are threatened.

When will R&R’s stranglehold on radio end? When record companies refuse to pay independents based on the R&R panel. When will that begin? It already has. When will it be complete? Shortly.

Again, why does Network 40 care? Because we care about the future of radio and programmers. Judging by their latest move, those at R&R only care about stations and programmers in large markets. If you’re in a market that serves less than 150,000 people or so, you don’t exist. Did any of us start out in markets of that size?

Network 40 includes all programmers and stations that want to participate. This is our criteria. You want to join the party? The door is wide open. That’s great. The Monitor lists airplay based on its ability to monitor airplay in markets. It’s based on economics. That’s fair. At least, as a programmer, you know the criteria. R&R includes stations based on its own secret, constantly changing formula. That’s bullshit.

Independent promoters work small radio stations. They know that programmers move up. And relations move with them. Shouldn’t record companies reward radio stations that expose their product and sell records, regardless of size? Isn’t that what it’s all about? How is a station not important in February, becomes suddenly important in March, then drops back into oblivion in June because of the whims of a trade magazine? It’s beyond the pale.

Those in power at R&R have proven that they are not futuristic. Their only strength is that record companies still…reluctantly…use the R&R panel for independent promotion. That strength is ebbing quickly. When that policy ends, and the finish line is just around the corner, R&R will be finished as well. R&R has few friends in radio.

The best move R&R made was hiring Tony Novia. Tony is a radio guy. He’s trying hard. Record companies are supporting him because most believe he’ll wind up back in radio somewhere. So do we. Unfortunately, that isn’t reason enough to continue to support R&R’s archaic policies. Get a real job in a hurry, Tony. But make sure it’s in a market of over 150,000 people. Otherwise, nobody will care

Unless you report to Network 40.

Cagle For Congress

6/16/1995

In the past two weeks, I’ve had more political discussions that when I ran for Congress. For better or worse, those of us in the radio and record industries have been dragged kicking and screaming into the political arena. And judging from the majority of those involved in these discussions, most in our business are extremely limited in our knowledge of the real power that affects our everyday lives.

It’s time to go to school.

There is no required reading, except for these Editorials. The nature of our business is that most don’t (or don’t have time to) read. However, before you engage in a political dialogue and risk embarrassing yourself, you should prepare.

Tonight, rent three videos and watch them in this order: The Candidate, starring Robert Redford; Blaze, with Paul Newman; and Clear And Present Danger starring Harrison Ford.

You’ll glean an important overview from this group, but the real truth is summed up in one scene; When an official is asked what the administration wants, he answers, “This administration wants what every new administration wants…to get reelected.”

The most important fact you need to grasp is that politics is big business. The biggest. Forget Forbes 500. Politics is the real king. Always has been. Always will be. If you look at political posturing as merely posturing, you miss the big picture.

In the beginning, it’s about morals and beliefs. I believe very few get into politics to make money. Their reasons are varied, but most begin the trek with lofty intentions. Is there one who doesn’t start out wanting to right wrongs, correct injustices and make the ultimate difference in the lives of others? I think not. But somewhere along the way, it gets twisted.

Running for office changes a person. As a record person, you can almost relate. When a PD tells you he doesn’t like your record, it’s a blot, but it’s not personal. You’re promoting a product. As a candidate, you ask people to vote for you. When they say no, because they don’t like you, it’s personal. Very personal. And it hurts. Trust me. I speak from experience.

Magnify that by an opponent who is saying nasty things about you. You’re accused of being the worst in the world…a liar, a cheat, a totally worthless person.

Somewhere in the middle of the campaign, a candidate changes. It becomes less about loft ideals and more about winning the race. You can’t implement your grandiose plans unless you’re elected. It turns into ego and power. You’re better than your opponents. You want to beat the others. It’s eat or be eaten.

And if you’re elected, the twist becomes a full-scale, supersonic, Bell helicopter spin. As a PD, you think you have pressure from record promoters? Get real. A U.S. Senator gets wined, dined and pressured by the heads of the largest companies in the nation, by the richest men in the world, by presidents of foreign countries. Compare “please play this record because we really believe in this artist” with “if you don’t vote for this foreign aid package, a million people in my country will die of starvation.” Or, “If you play this record, we’ll send two of your winners to a concert,” with “Vote for this bill and my company will open a factory in your district and employ 10,000 people. On second thought, don’t try. There is no comparison.

Politics isn’t about business…it is the business. And the money spent on directing the business is obscene. The record industry spends a fortune on promotion. It’s not even a drop in the Congressional lobbying budget Money spent lobbying Congress makes the profits of the entire record industry look like a modest tip.

To run a successful political campaign, you have to have a message, an organization and cash. Not in that order. Your message means nothing unless the voters hear it and hear it enough to believe it. And hear it one more time to stimulate them to vote. How much money? As much as it takes. And sometimes that isn’t enough.

Do you wonder why politicians pay attention to special interest groups? They get out the vote. They help politicians get elected. They make contributions. Definitely not in that order.

Are you getting the picture?

With all due respect to our elected officials, nobody draws a crowd like a record star. Isn’t it time we got off our collective butts and let our voices and choices be heard? If the record and radio industries came together, we would have the most effective lobbying group in history.

Radio stations should have voter registration concerts. A person need only register to vote to attend. Every record sold should have a voter registration card attached. Every concert should have voter registration booths. Radio stations should promote and recording artists perform free at events where all money raised goes to a political action committee to lobby for our rights.

Can you imagine what would happen if we all united together to promote better government? A united effort on the part of the music world…those who write and perform it, and those who enjoy it, could make the fringe groups obsolete. In our democracy, majority rules, yet because of the political system, small minorities are capable of making an impact because they do something.

We’ve got a message, but that’s not enough. Our elected officials need to hear it. I suggest we start a political action committee to promote our beliefs. Let’s unite to support politicians who reflect our perspectives. Let’s vote. Let’s help them get elected. Let’s make contributions.

Since I’m the big-mouth who came up with this idea, I’ll get off my butt and make the first move. I’ll head the group. I’ll motivate the members. I’ll file the papers. I’ll even name it: the Totally United Political Action Committee.

TUPAC.

Are you with me?

On The Dole

6/9/1995

There’s a chill wind blowing through the entertainment industry, fueled by the cold front that’s building up in Washington, D.C. Politicians by the dozens are lining up for a run at the top spot and they’re doing whatever it takes to get a nod and some votes. The movie, record and radio industries should get ready to hunker low in the bunkers until this one blows over. But you better stack some rations, bud. This won’t be a summer squall. We could be sheltered in the basement surrounding the wood-burning stove for more than a year. Get fat now because there are some lean times ahead.

The symbiotic relationship between the radio and record industries is a hot house that provides the perfect environment for subterfuge, manipulation, back-stabbing and outright lies. Egos can run completely out of control.

Temptations lead easily to abuses. It’s understandable that the public might think, “Everything…all the time” is more than just a song lyric. To them, it could be our motto.

Because we’re in the spotlight, the average Joe thinks we toss money about like leaves falling from a large oak tree in autumn. The publicity we constantly seek sometimes backfires. We make an easy target.

To most of America, we’re all about lyrics and limos and baubles and beads…endless champagne and people who please…escargot from France and caviar by the pails… diamonds and glitter and fake fingernails.

We work in a wild business where only the strongest survive. It’s intense pressure on an hourly basis, a fast lane to success and excess that leaves lots of bodies bruised and buried in the ditch.

But as wild and crazy as our business seems, we can’t hold a candle to the carnival barkers who occupy the hallowed halls of Congress. The worst day in our industry would seem like a Sunday school picnic when compared to a normal evening on the banks of the Potomac.

Kansas statesman and Senate Majority Leader Robert Dole fired the first full frontal assault on our industry this past week while speaking in Los Angeles. Although Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich has been rattling his saber for months, it was Dole who, in a cheap (and successful) attempt to steal the headlines for a few brief moments it time, unsheathed the blade.

Reaching out for the lunatics on the fringe of the Republican Party, Dole blamed the moral decay of America totally on the movie and recording industries. Listening to Dole’s speech, one could believe that we are the cause of whatever is wrong with our country.

Let’s step up to the plate and accept our responsibility once and for all. He’s right. It was all of those John Wayne movies that caused Presidents of both parties and the House and Senate to escalate the war in Vietnam and split the nation in two. It had to be “Disco Inferno” that caused riots and arson. I’m sure the Village People were responsible for Iran taking American hostages…it couldn’t have been our foreign policy. Were the movies the reason we invaded Panama and Grenada? Dole might have us there. It was his good friend, fellow Republican and former screen star Ronald Regan, who was getting top billing at the time. And I know for a fact that Guns & Roses inspired the Gulf War.

Where is this guy coming from? He’s the top gun in the Senate where, until a few months ago, its members were not held to the same standards of non-discrimination that he voted for the rest of the country. Here’s a man who accuses the record and radio industries of fostering violence, yet is leading a movement to repeal the ban on assault weapons.

It’s all about power, pure and simple. Why else would two people in California spend over $30 million in a race for a job that pays $80,000 a year?

Go figure.

The entertainment industry is a reflection of our times, not a dictator of human actions. Do we promote violence and sexual abuse as Dole claims? I think not. Do we document human behavior? Absolutely. It’s easy to pick on the excesses, but for every “Cop Killer,” there’s “God Bless The USA.” For every “Natural Born Killer” there’s a “Schindler’s List.” Unlike Dole, we cover the entire spectrum.

And don’t think that this is just about national posturing. You are going to have to deal with it at your radio station. You can bet that certain records will be singled out by one coalition or another and you’ll be hearing from them. It’s not whether you play the records or not, but how you respond to the pressure you will receive. Now is the time to come up with a game plan.

With all of Dole’s recent rhetoric (which he tried to downplay the next day) against the entertainment industry and our righteous indignation in reaction, who should really shoulder the blame? We should. We are quick to call press conferences in defense, attend fund-raisers and write a check for our favorite candidate…we’re all about blowing hot air.

What we should do is vote.

Dole can’t be condemned because he panders to the fanatical fringes of his constituency. They are small in number…but they vote. They have weight. It has nothing to do with his beliefs. He’s just trying to get elected. He shouts to the right that he’ll be their champion, while whispering to the rest of us not to worry.

We should all be ashamed…the politicians for snooping to the lowest common denominator and the rest of us for making them. If the majority of us marshaled our resources, we could easily become an entity that could take on the NRA or those other powerful Washington lobbyists with a backward sweep of our left hand. We reach more people in a day than they do in a year. If half the people we reach actually voted, we would be a force.

The election is over a year away, but it’s not too early to begin our campaign. The politicians have already started. If all of us, regardless of party affiliation, work toward bringing political posturing back to the middle, those running for office could focus on the real problems of America and develop solutions. We need to champion the Mainstream.

That’s what Network 40 is all about.

Summer’s Coming

6/5/1995

Okay, I know its June and maybe this column is a month or two late, but if you’ve been following along for the past couple of weeks, you know it’s been strange in Los Angeles. And that includes the weather. It was Memorial Day Weekend before the thermometer broke 85 Dees-grees and the plain truth is that our environment more closely resembles that of San Francisco than hot, sunny Southern California. So forgive me if summer came a little late to L.A. and I have been a little slow to react to this latest Heat Wave. We are all products of our environment and I’ve been too bundled u against those freezing 60-Dees-grees winds to work on my tan…or on an Editorial about summer programming.

It is a fact that summer changes everything. You can have joy, you can have fun, you can have Seasons In The Sun, but be careful that you don’t turn this summer into a Season Of The Witch. You get Hot Blooded (check it and see) and it will Make You Sweat. No other season is more anticipated than summer. Except for those who are completely whacked out of the brains anticipating the winter so they can snow ski (and I’ve never trusted anyone who looks forward to frostbite and the possibility of broken bones), everyone looks forward to summer.

It is necessary to adjust the programming of your radio station to a sound more compatible with the changes in the lifestyles of your audience. School’s Out For Summer. People are spending more time outside. Swimming, hiking, picnics and such are the norm. So you’ve got to match your radio station to the mood. That’s the reason for this Editorial, to suggest some changes that might be helpful.

So the baseball strike dulled the expectations a little, but who cares? Most of the people I know use the games as an excuse to sit in a seat, drink a lot of beer, yell at the top of their lungs for no good reason and soak up a little sun. When The Heat Is On, standings don’t mean a thing until the World Series. By then, it’s almost winter, so in reality, the strike didn’t have that much effect.

Summertime And The Living Is Easy (fish are jumping and the cotton is high). I love that song, though I never understood how the cotton being high worked for or against who or what I would be doing for the long, hot months ahead. The living is definitely easier. You want to move slower in the summer…have to move slower. If not, you might burn yourself right out…fry yourself to a crisp…spontaneously combust in front of company. I don’t really know if the fish are jumping or not. It seems like those large-mouthed bass would be hugging the bottom, looking for a cool spring to chill their gills. Maybe the lyrics are referring to the late evening hours when those same bass might take a jump or two at low-flying insects. I could buy that in a stretch, but cotton being high?

For those of you who have never had the pleasure of picking cotton, let me assure you that although the actual labor might be a touch easier if the plants are larger, there is nothing pleasant about the actual picking, be it high or low.

It is a lead-pipe cinch that you can extend yourself forever, have an Endless Summer or go full-tilt boogie All Summer Long. Just Don’t Let The Sun Catch You Crying. Of course, you should have been preparing when it was Almost Summer, but remember, it’s never too late to catch up.

Whether or not you program on the far West Coast and have a Palisades Park or a Sausalito Summer Night, it’s always important to have Hot Fun In The Summertime on those Sunny Afternoons. You can have all the Boys Of Summer making a Bus Top to check out the California Girls in different station promotions. The bikini, Hot Legs and wet T-shirt contest might be old, but they aren’t broke, so there’s no need to fix them.

If your mind is a little hazy, all you have to do is take yourself back to Suddenly Last Summer and you’ll remember the promotions and Things We Did Last Summer to help you out. If there’s nothing else, you can always fall back on a Summer Of Love. Just don’t get too far off in dreamland and let your ego blow the lid off. It’s good to remember When You’re Hot, You’re Hot (and when you’re not, you’re not).

When it gets Too Hot, don’t forget that it’s Summer In The City. A free concert could work to cool things off. If you plan it down to the last detail, you can have everyone Dancing In The Streets. You just never know whether this season will be as famous as the Summer of ’42 or the Summer of ’69 until we’re into it.

Just because it’s cooking in the daylight hours, don’t forget those Summer Nights. There are plenty of Night Moves to be made, especially on those Hot Summer Nights. You could turn those slow, lazy evenings into Endless Summer Nights. When the Summer Wind comes rolling in, it’s amazing what can happen in the House Of The Rising Sun. An after-dark contest Up On The Roof could be very nice, especially if it’s Sealed With A Kiss.

Make sure your programming is upbeat and happy or you could be blamed for a Cruel Summer. And no matter how nice it is, don’t forget that things could get ugly. Every doctor will tell you that there ain’t no cure for the Summertime Blues.

I could spend this entire column commenting (try saying that fast 10 times in a row) on internal changes you should make…like adjusting your clocks. Maybe it’s time to give those worn stopsets a break and schedule them in other parts of the hour. Give the audience a subliminal change as their habits change so they’ll start Groovin’ (on a Sunday afternoon). I urge you to be extremely careful with your air talent. When the Blackhole Sun burns down, everyone gets a little bit crazy and if your staff is good, they’re all teetering on the brink anyhow. When the thermometer hits the high notes, it might be just little thing to make them snap. Now is the time to give your hardest workers n extra day or two off. Buy them some Cheap Sunglasses. It will keep them fresher and might stop them from taking your head off with an AK47. Take the curtains down from the control room windows and Let The Sunshine In.

I was going to suggest some song titles you should program this summer, but I’ve run out of room. I guess I’ll See You In September, just Don’t Let The Sun Go Down On Me.

Get It

5/26/1995

It’s been a strange week in L.A. And trust me, bud, when it’s a strange week in Los Angeles, it’s got to be totally out of whack everywhere else. Because here in never-never land, we thrive on strange, but this week, we could be setting a new curve.

Maybe it’s because I bought a house today, a house located in a restricted zip code (meaning it doesn’t qualify for home insurance because it’s right on the fault line). I did that after reading the headline in the L.A. Times that said housing in Southern California hadn’t rebounded as expected and was now expected to fall to a new, all-time low. But I’ve lived my life betting against the house and it seemed fitting to continue to buck the odds…by betting on one.

I mean, anyone can play it safe, but it takes a true rebel to cut against the grain…every time out. Why take the chalk at this late date?

It started with a  conversation this morning with one of the most important women in our business. She called me to help her construct a quote for a magazine that is doing a story on the success of women in our industry. Why me? It wasn’t sol long ago that this same person was crucifying me for running unflattering pictures of half-naked women on Page 6. She was instrumental in forever banning said pictures, much to the dismay of the swine among our subscription base who foraged for my home number and continue to call me at all hours of the night demanding more skin. Yet she asked for, no, demanded my help in preparing a quote for her article.

When I questioned her about my qualifications, based on her earlier castigations of my editorial acumen, she mumbled some vague yet poignant comment about how she really knew the real me and was positive my true beliefs outshadowed my cheap attempts at gaining new, albeit low-life, subscribers. (It is possible that I am not really who I pretend to be, but live in the eyes of those who can actually see through the shoddy veneer with which I’ve covered my real personality so I can run one day for public office? Nope. I’ve already done that.) So I helped her and discounted the brief ripple in the force as a one-in-a-blue-moon long shot.

Shortly thereafter, I was approached by one of the format editors of Network 40 who asked permission to run a picture in her section featuring a nearly naked man. This editor was one of the most vocal about the aforementioned pictures of semi-nude women on Page 6. When I questioned the dichotomy of her actions, I found myself on the opposite side of the argument she had so vigorously pursued only a few months ago. The difference, she explained so eloquently, between the pictures of naked men and named women, was a matter of class.

So I was faced with a dilemma. If I run a picture of naked men, will my phones be ringing off the hook from the male readers who will tell me that I’m using naked men in a demeaning manner to further the success of the magazine?

It’s a question for the ages…one that I am neither able, nor willing, to answer in this century. Whether or not the picture runs, I feel, will be more a matter of the will of the editor rather than being based on some momentous, philosophical decision on my part. Arguing with a woman who is more intelligent than you is Chinese water torture at best and bamboo shoots under the fingernails at worst, and when it comes down to the short strokes, I know I’ll lose this one…if for all the wrong reasons.

So I excused myself from the argument, put off the inevitable and retired to the dark recesses of a local bar to have a few cocktails with my second-favorite person in the record business. Who’s number one? Everybody else. Okay, it’s a lame joke, but I’ve ridden it this far and the finish line is drawing closer so I’ll just keep beating it.

One of the reasons this guy is really one of my favorite people is that he recognized that he is one of the smarter people in the room, but he doesn’t acknowledge it. We talked about the out-of-control egos that dominate our business and laughed about those who believe in the hype when they are only setting themselves up for the big fall.

Of course, we were quick to assure each other that we were not part of this pack of dogs, that we know who we are and can avoid the pitfalls and traps set for the others. Neither of us noticed the distinct “clank” as the cage shut.

I like this person because he boils everything down into one expression: “You get it.” It’s really that simple, yet totally unexplainable. We can talk for hours and he sums up the entire conversation with this phrase. The words get in the way because both of us “get it.”

It reminds me of the years I spent working with the absolute, positive best general manger in the history of radio: the late Pat Norman, who captained the legendary KFRC San Francisco through the likes of Hal Martin, Les Garland and yours truly. Pat loved to have a cocktail or two and, as all of us do, tended to pontificate about almost anything and everything under the warmth from the golden hue of the nectar of the vine.

Pat talked in what I like to call “strobe talk.” He seldom completed a thought and never quite ended a sentence. I would sit and act as if I knew exactly what he was saying. He always ended these rambling with the phrase, “Do you get it?”

Not wanting to expose my complete ignorance or embarrass him, I always answered in the positive.

After working with the man for nearly five years, we went out for a night of celebration and since I was feeling more confident than usual, I actually drank more “intelligent” medicine than he did. I was primed and ready when he ended one of his philosophical lectures with his usual hypothetical question: “Do you get it?”

I gathered myself, took a deep breath (and another shot of courage) and said, “I’ve been working with you for five years. Nearly every day, you asked me if I got it and I always answered affirmative. I must tell you that not only tonight, but never have I answered truthfully. I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about, nor have I ever. I do not get it.”

A long, yet not uncomfortable silence followed. I bit my lip and held his gaze, positive that I had made a grave error, totally unaware that I had made a major breakthrough. He stared at me across the table for a few moments, smiled and knocked back the rest of his drink. “Then you get it,” he said quietly.

And I did. The question is: Do you?

Tubing It

5/19/1995

It is that time of year when everyone is fighting to be #1. The good news is that someone will be in the top spot. The bad news? Everyone else won’t be.

I’m not talking about the NBA playoffs where 12 multi-millionaires will try and hide their grief when they lose the playoffs and drive into the sunset in their custom cars. I’ll save any feelings of remorse for programmers when the down book hits their desks with an awful thud.

I programmed more than my share of great radio stations, and those of you familiar with my career know I was lucky to have more than my share of success, but I can say, without reservation, no other emotion can come close to the empty feeling of a down book.

Programming is weird science at best. Let’s face it…none of us really knows what we’re doing. It’s a complex crapshoot with the odds favoring the house. Although we all like to brag and pretend we know it all when the book goes up, the truth is, everyone breathes a sigh of relief when the numbers jump. With the possible exception of Steve Smith (who might actually know what he’s doing), can anyone say they haven’t experienced a down book?

Three Dog Night sang, “One is the loneliest number that you’ll ever do,” and they were right. If you ever pull a “one” in the book, you will be the loneliest person in the station. It won’t last long because you’ll soon be out on the street, but for a brief, frozen moment in time, you’ll find depressing fascination in total isolation.

I speak from experience. I am the genius who tubed WAPP New York down to that magic number and managed to live to tell about it. (Actually, it was a 1.7, but when it starts with a “one,” it doesn’t really matter what comes after the decimal point.) I couldn’t find anyone who would look me in the eye. My secretary went home sick, the jocks came in just minutes before their airshifts, the sales staff holed up in the local bar and the general manager refused to take my calls. I phoned my girlfriend for solace. She left a message on the answering machine that she was moving out…she got a job at Z100 answering Scott Shannon’s request lines.

You’ll only get comfort (for a while) from record company promotion people. The good ones will call immediately to tell you not to believe Arbitron, that everyone they know listens to your station. They close by hitting you up for an add, hoping they’ll get one more shot before you get blown out.

So, what do you do when you tube it? Conventional wisdom tells you to straighten your back and find the silver lining in that otherwise dark cloud. As much as we curse Arbitron, we can be thankful for the tonnage of data the company provides. Look closely and find those demos that show promise. Bolster the air staff. They’re as scared as you and need you to be strong in the face of imminent danger. March into the general manager’s office and provide an instant game plan to turn the ratings around. Accept the responsibility and take it like a champion.

Of course, that’s all conversation. It’s the right thing to do…probably the most professional way to approach it…but it won’t matter.

As a veteran of many down books, I had the time and talent to develop a strategy to face the beast and breathe fire in its face. I call it, “The 10 Tenents of Tubing.”

#1:       Blame it on a bad drop. Arbitron is famous for seeking out the exact households that hate your station. For this book, they managed to find them all. They have a personal vendetta to make sure you fail. Blame it on them.

#2:       It’s all of those terrible sales promotions you had to run. If it weren’t for the clutter, you would have been in double-digits.

#3:       Your competition out-spent you 10-to-one. If you had the budget they had, you would have gone up. Absolutely.

#4:       Demand a trip to Beltsville to personally study the diaries. You’ve heard at least three other stations had diaries and those entries tainted the results of the entire sample. All you need is three days and you’ll have the whole book recalled. (If you’re lucky, by the time you return, the bad news will have blown over and you can slink back into your office and avoid the bullet to the brain.)

#5:       It was the consultant’s fault. (My personal favorite.) Say this with a great degree of animosity and self-confidence. Blame everything on the consultant, from the music to the promotions to the format. But make sure you do this quickly. Rest assured the consultant will do the same to you. Strike quickly before you’re hamstrung.

#6:       Tearfully blame it on your evil, twin personality. Explain that there are two people inside of you…the good one and the bad one. Unfortunately, the bad one took control at the start of the book, but promise it will never happen again.

#7:       Don’t mention the book. Do, however, bring up the young thing the manager has been seeing on the sly. Explain that you would never share your knowledge with the GM’s spouse.

#8:       Leave on an extended vacation, the thought being that if they can’t find you, they can’t fire you. If you take this action, clean your personal effects from your office. They might not find you, but they can find your replacement. Six of them are already sitting in the lobby.

#9:       Immediately enter a drug and alcohol rehabilitation clinic. It doesn’t matter whether you need to, but it buys you at least 30 days, the company has to pay the bills and they can’t fire you until the treatment is complete.

#10:     Quit. Be loud and be proud about it. Accept no blame or responsibility. Say the station is screwed up, the business sucks and you’re leaving to spend more time with your family. Then take the first job that is available.

If none of these work, you’re on your own. It is healthy, however, to remember we work in a business of intangibles. Much of our success depends on particulars out of our control. Don’t take too much credit when you’re doing well or you’ll get an equal amount of blame when it all goes to hell. Also, another book and another chance to succeed is only three months away.

It might be in your best interest to remember the old axiom: “There’s never a horse that couldn’t be rode and never a rider that couldn’t be throwed.” You aren’t a genius until you win the Nobel Prize.

Even with it, you’re going to be in trouble after a down book. Ask Jimmy Carter.

Number 2

5/12/1995

Who will the next fool be?

It’s more than just the title of a song, it seems to be the cry of our industry. There was a time when there was an abundance of people in the radio and record industries who were ready for the next step. Wannabe program directors and heads of promotion were waiting in the wings, needing only a vacancy to prove what they could do.

That doesn’t seem to be the case now.

Maybe it’s because the high rate of turnover has used up the talent pool. Maybe there are more jobs than there are qualified people. Maybe the expansion of the industries has created more openings in a shorter period of time than normal. Maybe the radio and record industries as a whole are not attracting young people willing to grow into a career.

Maybe it’s something else.

Because of the increased pressure in both the radio and record industries, those at the top have less time to spend on one of the most important elements of their job: training.

There are several reasons why you should create the opportunity to spend quality time sharing your expertise with those under you. First, it’s part of your job. It may not be spelled out in your contract, but it is certainly expected by those who hired you. Part of leadership is training. You can’t expect talented people to follow your directives blindly unless they know the reasons behind your edicts. The only way they can know and understand is if you take the time to teach them.

Second, it makes your job easier. Sharing your needs and responsibilities with those team members who have the desire to learn will enable you to branch out and accomplish more. Those of us in leadership positions believe that no other person can do things as well as we do. It’s one of the reasons that got us where we are. However, as we take on more and more responsibility, we physically and mentally do not have the time to control every facet of our job. We must delegate. Sooner or later, you have no choice. And you can’t delegate responsibilities to others unless they have been trained. By letting your subordinates know why as well as how, you can delegate and continue to succeed. As your responsibilities increase, so will the responsibilities of those who you have trained and because you have people in place who know what to do, your overall performance won’t suffer.

Third, you owe it to the business. Whether we acknowledge it daily or not, this business has given us the opportunity for success. Call it a payback, but teaching others the ropes is part and parcel of what we are. Someone took the time to guide us. You should do the same.

Fourth, and most important, it makes your promotion easier and will probably hasten its arrival. Many times promotions are put off because the other people in the department are not able or ready to move up. Rather than looking at a number-two person as a threat, look at the competent second-in-command as your ticket to a promotion. If you have someone groomed to take over your job, company heads will be less hesitant to promote you to a new position.

It is a fact that many in both radio and records recognize that there is a lack of talent ready to move into top positions. The question is: Whose fault is it? There are certainly many competent people in the ranks. If those in positions of authority feel there are few ready to move up to take more responsibility, perhaps those in charge should share in the blame. It is up to us to groom our successors. If we don’t do it, who will? There are no college courses that teach students how to program a radio station. There are no college courses that teach students how to lead a promotion department. There are many outlets that purport to teach students the ABCs of the radio and record industries. But how to lead others? It’s an inherent trait that some have and some don’t. But even those who have the ability to lead must be taught the particular aspects of leadership. A general can’t just jump out of the foxhole and charge the enemy, expecting his troops to follow. Those expected to follow must have definitive reasons and beliefs…or they will hang back.

So, how do we go about this on-the-job training? First, as the head of a company or department, e must determine who, of those under our direct supervision, are destined for future success. Training incompetent people will only lead to well-trained, incompetent people. Identify those who seem eager for the next challenge. How do we make that determination? Look for the self-starters, those who are constantly seeking new projects, those who ask a lot of questions (sometimes drawing your ire), those who come to work early and leave late. Avoid those who accomplish the tasks only after you assign them.

Second, you must schedule time for training. It’s one thing to say you’re going to begin teaching. It’s another to actually do it. The road to hell is paved with good intentions.

Because you don’t always have time to conduct a class, assign your people written projects. Ask the m to prepare brief papers detailing their ideas on specific operations. This way, you can read their reports at your leisure, then meet briefly with them and explain where they are right or wrong and give explanations to help them grow.

After staff meetings, ask individuals to meet privately with you. Question them on the details of the meeting and explain what brought you to the final decision.

Delegate specific projects to them. Watch and comment on their progress and delegate more. Don’t fail to praise them for their efforts as well as critique their mistakes. Demand their input, even by allowing them to challenge your moves. We all make mistakes. It’s healthy if you have some on your staff to privately question your decisions.

Training people to move forward under your guidance is the best thing you can do for yourself. And it doesn’t take much effort or a lot of time. If you choose the right people, they will make the effort and the time spent will just be minutes that add up to increased productivity for you and the ones you choose.

The future of our business…and ourselves…is tired directly to those we train. Don’t hesitate because they might be after your job. If someone under you winds up with your job, you shouldn’t have had it in the first place.

A Tale Of Three Stations

5/5/1995

Top 40 radio is dead. Mainstream Top 40 is losing ground. The audience is changing.

The nay-sayers are out in force. Record companies are looking over the horizon for the next format. What will it be? Who will discover it? How will we deal with it? When will it happen?

Top 40 radio has been dad and buried countless times in the past three decades. The format has died and been replaced by…Top 40.

I submit to you (okay, maybe I’ve been watching too much of the O.J. trial) that it isn’t Top 40 that’s in trouble, but Top 40 programmers. To loosely quote Willie Shakespeare, it ain’t the message, it’s the messenger.

You don’t have to look any further than New York City to find the format alive and well. Three different radio stations, all within the definition of Top 40, are all succeeding. Why? Because each is programmed exceptionally and uniquely by people who know what they’re doing.

On a visit to the Big Apple last week, I as able to listen to all three during all dayparts and find something I liked. Evidently, I am not alone. Judging from the ratings, New York is tuning in consistently.

In the early 1980s, Scott Shannon went to work at a radio station in Secaucus, New Jersey. The station went dark, then turned back on as Z100. Many in the industry thought Scott was crazy. (Okay, many still do, but that’s another story). You see, at that time, Top 40 was dead. That was the second time the format had been listed in the obituary pages. When Scott turned on the “Flame Thrower,” there was no other Top 40 in New York. You remember, Disco was the format of the future…then.

It wasn’t long before Z100 was #1 and Top 40 was alive and well again. Disco disappeared in a micro-second and suddenly, Scott had not one, but three other competitors biting into the Top 40 audience that was supposedly nonexistent only months before.

After a long, successful run, Scott left the East Coast to work his brand of magic elsewhere. After a sojourn near the Pacific Ocean searching for a pirate, Scott returned to New York and took the reins of WPLJ, one of the stations that had jumped into the Top 40 format years before. Scott adjusted the format slightly and skewed the focus toward the available upper demos. WPLJ steadily increased its audience and ratings and today, it consistently ranks in the upper echelon of the sellable 25-54 demos.

Scott rebuilt a radio station to fit the needs of the available audience.

When Scott left Z100, Steve Kingston took over the formidable task: maintain Z100’s position as the dominant Top 40 station in New York.

For a while, it worked. Then, as the audience began changing (and the music with it), Steve was faced with a much bigger problem. What to do with Z100 to cope with the changes? For months, rumors swirled around the station and its people. When the sale to Shamrock was completed, many in the industry said Top 40 was dead, Kingston would leave and Z100 would change formats. Instead, Kingston stayed and redefined Z100 to take advantage of the changes in the audience. Kingston took a big gamble and began mixing an Alternative blend into Z100’s music and suddenly, the audience and the ratings began building again and today, the station is the definition of Top 40 with an Alternative blend.

Steve took advantage of what the market had to give and adjusted his radio station to reflect the wants and needs of the audience…still within the Top 40 format.

And then came Steve Smith. When Steve arrived in New York, many in the industry said that his brand of radio would never succeed because he didn’t know the New York audience and had never programmed in such a large market. The Crossover brand of to 40 wasn’t working and Smith wouldn’t be able to bring enough of the audience into his camp to make his radio station successful in the metropolis of New York City.

Steve refocused Hot 97, defining his core demographics and playing specifically to them. Almost overnight, Hot 97 increased its market share until it out-distanced the Top 40 competitors in the 12+ arena and became the #1 Top 40 station in New York.

As a sidebar (not as much O.J. as a publishing term), Emmis purchased WRKS late last year and put Steve in charge of programming a station that, until he too over, had been targeting basically the same audience as Hot 97. Many in the industry believed Smith couldn’t program both stations successfully without one suffering.

Readjusting both slightly, Smith positioned each toward a specific target within the overall demographic and scored big. In the latest ratings, Hot 97 moved 4.8 to 5.4 and WRKS jumped from a 3.8 to a 7.4.

What does this tell us?

First of all, it tells us that “many in the industry” don’t have a clue. Most of those sitting on the sidelines making judgments about radio have no experience in the medium and are about as accurate in their predictions as those doing weather on your local channel.

In also tells us that good programming always finds a way. WPLJ, Z100, Hot 97 and WRKS can all be defined as Top 40 stations. All four stations are successful because each caters to a specific portion of the available audience. One does not beat the other in the classic sense. Each is successful in its own way.

Scott Shannon, Steve Kingston and “King Of The Hill” Steve Smith were not afraid to commit to their particular beliefs. Each had a different focus and idea. Each stepped forward without looking back. None listened to the conventional wisdom of “many in the industry.” Each came up with a specific plan designed for their radio station. They all win.

What’s their secret? All are different. But belief in one’s own ability makes these programmers winners.

And don’t tell me this phenomenon is specific only to New York. Somebody once said, “If you can make it there, you can make it anywhere.”

Is Top 40 on life support? Or are many Top 40 programmers simply brain dead?

Perhaps you should consult Doctors Shannon, Kingston and Smith for the answer.