Author: gerry

4/4/1997

Several weeks ago, I wrote an Editorial that was highly critical of the Monitor.  Actually, the Editorial was critical of the policies of the Monitor… and the people of the Monitor who made the policies…specifically Howard Lander, Sean Ross, Kevin Carter and Theda Sandiford.  I said it would be harder to find anyone dumber than the Gang of Four.  I was speaking of their overall intelligence.  I assume each of these individuals are smart in their own way.  They’re just stupid when it comes to the radio or record business…despite the fact that they are in charge of a magazine that purports to support that very industry.

I owe the Gang an apology.  I know it’s not like me, but when I’m right (which is most of the time), I take the credit.  And when I’m wrong (which is almost never…ask anyone who works for me), I will take the blame.  I said it would be hard to find anyone dumber than the Gang of Four.  I was wrong.  After reading last week’s Monitor, I found someone.

Sean Ross.

The fact that he is a member of the Gang notwithstanding, Sean has separated himself from his peers with a column that begs to wonder if Mr. Ross is indeed on a spaceship circling the Hale-Bopp comet.  It proves he is totally out of touch with the realities of the radio and record industries.

Sean writes, under the the heading “Top 40 Topics” (golly gee, what a nifty name), about “Going For Adds Or Going For The Real Story.”  Mr. Ross wonders why companies still “go for adds” and schedule “add dates.”  If he has to wonder, Mr. Ross should wake up and smell the coffee.  However, I feel the mere smell of coffee certainly couldn’t pull him out of his evident coma.

Ah, what a warm-and-fuzzy world we would live in if there was no emphasis on stations “adding” a record.  There would be no more scheduling meetings because record companies could release everything on the same day.  Warner Bros. could gather up all their artists and ask, “Who wants to release an album next year?  Just deliver it by January 1, because that’s when we release everything.

“We’re not concerned with adds anymore, so let’s just throw all the product out there at the same time. Maybe some programmer will listen to it and play it.”

Wow, wouldn’t that be cool?

Actually, it might make it easier if every record company released all their records on the same day.  Then we could get it all over with in a hurry.  Oh, some artists would get lost and some hit records would never get heard, but that’s okay.  Shit happens.

How would we gauge a record’s early success?  We couldn’t.  But, who cares?  We aren’t in the business of promotion, we’re in the business of reality.  Unfortunately, what Sean doesn’t seem to understand is that reality is almost always a byproduct of promotion.

We have a Bill of Rights because a bunch of promotion people got it “added” to the Constitution.  We are able to break new acts because programmers commit to the music by “adding” the record.  Anyone who believes records “just organically happen” without a solid promotion and marketing plan should put a purple scarf over their head and become a part of Hale-Bopp.

Maybe a superstar act doesn’t need a group of early believers to ensure a hit—although most would even argue this point.  But certainly newer, unproven artists need early believers to shout the gospel by “adding” the record.

It is a fact of life that PDs look to others for guidance.  How many adds a record gets often decides a records’ fate.  Some may say it isn’t fair (usually those who didn’t get any adds), but the fact is that the system works.

Programmers depend on promotion people and information.  If a record gets added on 100 stations, it’s worth a listen.  And the reverse is certainly true. If a record gets only two adds…maybe it isn’t worth a listen.

Add dates are all-important in the internal set-up of a record.  Scheduling is king.  No one wants to release a superstar act the same time as another label’s superstar.  Nor does any company want to release a new artist if several superstars are coming with releases in a given month.  Companies want to schedule add dates with touring when possible, making tickets, artist meetings and other promotional activities possible.  Add dates are coordinated to make sure product is in stores.

All of these reasons would seem obvious to even the most ignorant in our business.  So what does this say about Sean and the publication for which writes?  Does Monitor not know…or simply not care?

Sean checked out the adds in his own magazine and found only a “few” that mention “add dates.”  Maybe it’s because adds aren’t important to Monitor’s readers.  Monitor prints information that has already happened.  Promotion  people and PDs are concerned with more than history…they must know what’s next… what records are coming…who’s going to “add” them…who has  passion for them.  You’ll find no passion in the Monitor.

You will find people with no experience or knowledge of our business trying to dictate formats and questioning record company practices designed to break new acts and records that make history.

The Monitor should hurry up and hire Tony Novia.  They need someone—even with his limited radio ability.  (Just kidding, Matty.)

In short, Sean Ross sucks, the Monitor blows, Network 40 rules.

I know I think I know everything.  But consider the other trade geeks and you have a better understanding of the saying, “In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king!”

Well, give me my eye patch and call me Snake.

3/7/1997

The howls should have been the giveaway.  Aren’t they always?  For you people who didn’t grow up in the South, who didn’t develop that special affinity with nature…who never laid down with the dogs on the front porch…who weren’t held close to your mother’s breast when the hounds began to bay late at night…I guess you don’t really understand.  Try to fake it.

The hounds began baying last week.  I should have seen the early warning.  But those parasitic creatures that prey on the toil and work of the truly talented are not as dumb as they look.  Although it’s pretty tough to look any dumber than Howard Lander, Sean Ross, Kevin Carter and Theda Sandiford-Waller.

These four “geniuses” are in charge of defining and implementing Billboard Monitor’s charts.  In their infinite wisdom, the Gang of Four changed the formats of six major stations.

Did you know that Hot 97 New York, KMEL San Francisco, KBXX Houston, 92Q Baltimore, WJMH Greensboro and WPGC Washington, D.C. changed formats last week?  According to the Monitor, these stations are now Urban and information from these stations will be processed only on the Urban charts in the Monitor.  Once again, a trade magazine is making decisions better left to programmers.

Remember when R&R tried to dictate their policies on the industry?  The backlash was so great that R&R still hasn’t recovered and probably never will.

Well, guess what happened to the Monitor on the way to the bank?  Those in charge have decided to dictate their beliefs to the rest of the industry.

If R&R was way out of line, the Monitor has obliterated it…because their plot is much more insidious.

First of all, how the Gang of Four decided to change the formats of these radio stations makes communist China look like an open society. Without releasing any criteria…without asking for information from the radio stations involved…without seeking input from the programmers…or any programmers…without seeking counsel from anyone in the record business, the Gang of Four made a decision that could affect the success of these stations and the livelihood of those working there.

Why?  It’s simple.  The Monitor and the Gang of Four don’t care about radio.  They don’t care about the record industry.  They only care about themselves. Why else would they make a decision in secret…a decision that drastically changes the flavor of the Monitor Crossover Chart…without asking for input from anyone else?

Here is the scary part:  The “chosen” stations can’t do a thing about it.  You see, the Monitor doesn’t ask radio for input or information.  The Monitor just takes it.  Since the Monitor uses BDS, radio has no recourse when the Monitor dictates any changes.

At Network 40, we never dictate to the industry.  As I have said many times before, we reflect the opinions and views of those in our industry.  We let radio stations tell us their format…it’s never the other way around.

But, let’s suppose a station reports to Network 40 and we don’t believe the playlist supports the station’s format definition.  We simply inform the program director that we won’t include the station in formulating reports for that format.

The Monitor doesn’t give a station that luxury.  The Monitor decides what the station is and publishes that result.  This will cost the station valuable time, defending its position to advertisers and other interested parties.  It could cost valuable advertising dollars. 

It will also cost the record industry.  Quite simply, the Monitor’s Crossover Chart won’t be reflective of Crossover radio in general.  It will extremely limit an Urban record’s ability to cross over to the Mainstream.  The outlet for Urban records now becomes smaller because of the Monitor’s shortsighted, selfish, stupid decision.

Who wanted this change?  Who asked for it?  Who was not satisfied with the panel?

Does anyone in our business define Steve Smith, Jay Stevens or the rest of the “chosen” programmers as Urban PDs?  Only the Gang of Four.  As Michelle Santosuosso and Joey Arbagey said, “We’re about music…not definitions.”  That’s fine, except the Monitor has chosen to define you.

What gives them that right?  Unlike the staff at Network 40, these geniuses have no radio or record experience.  Oh, please forgive me.  Howard and Theda probably know how to turn a radio on.  Probably to a Talk station.  And I forgot.  Once upon a time, Kevin was actually on the air in Fresno.  And Sean did know how to work Selector. 

So I guess these people are qualified to make ignorant decisions.  The only one truly “qualified” would be Sean.  He worked at Billboard where he got a lot of experience in reasoning accurately to inaccurate conclusions.

There’s reason it’s windy in New York.  The Monitor blows.

What can the industry do?  Talk is cheap…and the Gang of Four won’t listen.  Two major record companies have cancelled advertising with more to follow.  Programmers can refuse to use or quote the Monitor charts.

The Monitor’s decision leaves Network 40 with the only Crossover panel…a panel decided by the radio stations and recognized by the entire industry.  No other publication offers computer-generated plays faxed from music scheduling software.  We’ll accept the responsibility…and act responsible.

What should we do to the Gang of Four?  I say, sic the hounds on ’em.

2/28/1997

It is a strange group that hangs at The Palm in Los Angeles every Sunday night.  It started as just a dinner several years ago, but has grown to almost mythical proportions since then.  It’s still just a dinner, but food serves more as a backdrop for the chatter that surrounds it.  You see, these “gatherings” now serve a much higher purpose.  We join together to dissect, discuss and define the radio and record business as we perceive it during any given week.

Okay, so you see through my subterfuge?  We hang out to bitch and complain…and most of all, to criticize those who aren’t at the round table!

Last week it was particularly invigorating.  Usually, one or two stories run through the table that everyone finds amusing.  Or at least everyone pretends to laugh.  There is a lot of pretending done.  Let’s face it…this dinner takes place in Hollywood.  But last Sunday night, following in the footsteps of Star Wars, there were three stories that all felt worthy of sharing…call it Network 40’s Trilogy, if you will.

Anyhow, the stories are much too long for Page 6, but I thought they would be of interest here.  I could be wrong.  You decide.

The first one, entitled “Car Wars,” is pure power Hollywood.  The head of a record company had to visit a movie studio for a high-level meeting.  The studio has two parking lots:  Lot A is close to the offices; Lot B is perhaps 50 yards further away.  The record executive’s assistant was told by the movie public relations person that parking would be provided in Lot B.  The assistant, knowing the parking layout, questioned the procedure.

“Why can’t she park in Lot A?” she asked.

“We’re doing something with the Vice President that day and he’s using Lot A,” answered the PR person.

“Well,” said the assistant with hesitation, “I’m going to have to pull rank on you.  You’re talking about a vice president and I’m talking about a CEO.  She should park in Lot A.”

The PR person replied, “I’m not talking about a vice president, I’m talking about the Vice President.”

Needless to say, Vice President Al Gore got the preferred parking!

The second, “The Internet Strikes Back,” involves a certain regional promotion person from the South.  We shouldn’t mention either the promotion person’s name nor identify the record company, but the initials are in the following:  DMAWC.  You figure it out.

Anyhow, this extremely intelligent individual who works so hard that he has no time for anything else was (shock) cruising the Internet not long ago.  Of course this guy was only searching for ways to improve his promotional skills.

Somehow, totally unknown to him, he was switched from “Sale Techniques” to “Sex.”  Imagine that.  Soon, our fine, upstanding friend found a website called “Sexygirls.com.”  This website boasted uncensored, hardcore pornography at, get this, absolutely no cost.

Free porn on the Internet?  Our hero was intrigued.  He logged on.  The site informed him that to see “Nekkit Women,” his machine had to be reconfigured and suggested he click on a particular icon.  Our hero complied and sure enough, he was soon looking at uncensored, hardcore porn.

For educational purposes only.

As a good promotion person, he quickly called his boss to share his good fortune.  This was better than an add!  The boss had the company computer expert check out the site.  It seems that when you click on the icon, the website automatically disconnects you from the Internet and reconnects you through a 900 number that charges $3 a minute!

Our humble hero got the bill yesterday.  $960.  He says he fell asleep.

Sure.

The third in the trilogy, “Return of the Bad Guy,” involves me.

I had been getting calls and letters from a guy named Bobby Ocean.  Now, the real Bobby Ocean is an old and dear friend of mine, someone I’ve known for years.  We worked together in several different markets and he’s one of my favorite people.

I hadn’t talked with Bobby in a long time and when my assistant told me he was on the phone, I picked it up excitedly.

My excitement immediately turned to boredom as I listened to a dweeb who called himself “Bobby Ocean” tell me all about his limited career and even-more-limited success.  He then proceeded to rail on me about giving him a job.  I got off the phone as quickly as I could.

Well, this guy was relentless.  He sent packages.  He sent emails.  He sent gifts.  He was sending me around the bend.

My assistant buzzed me last week and told me Bobby Ocean was on the phone.  I made my assistant get back on the phone and make sure it was the “real” Bobby Ocean from San Francisco.  Assured, she put the call through.

I picked up the receiver and said, “Ocean, I’m sorry to put you through all this hassle, but there’s this loser who’s using your name, who’s been bugging the hell out of me.  He keeps sending me stuff and calling constantly.  I can’t get away from him.  That’s why I had to make sure it was you and not the jerk.”

There was a slight pause, then the voice said, “Gerry I am that jerk.”

For one of the few times in my life, I was speechless.  When I could finally talk, I said, “I’m sorry, I have to go.”

I could continue this editorial, but I feel some jerks are reading it.

So, I have to go.

Now, aren’t you glad you aren’t at The Palm on Sunday?

2/21/1997

What are you giving up for Lent?”

It was a strange question.  One I hadn’t heard since my childhood.  Stranger still was from whence it came.

Her name was Lola…she was a dancer.

Okay.  Her name wasn’t Lola.  And although she worked at an exotic dance club called the Pink Pussycat, she insisted that she wasn’t a dancer.  In her own description, she was a teller of tales…a spinner of sagas…a filler of fantasies.

Whatever.

I have seen her work and you can trust me on this one:  She is a storyteller of epic proportions.

I woke up rough that morning.  My mouth felt as if it had been stuffed with dusty cotton…lips pasted together with that white glue that mysteriously appears in the middle of the night…a swollen tongue that tasted like the bottom of an ashtray in a Peterbilt cab after a coast-to-coast run.

Ashtray…how apropos.  It was the day after Fat Tuesday.  Ash Wednesday.

Now, Fat Tuesday had merely been the strawberry on the sundae of a month of total and complete debauchery.  The 30 days of celebration, culminating with Mardi Gras, that directly precedes Lent can only be fully understood by a good Catholic, preferably from the South.  Although what a good Catholic gives up for Lent is what it’s all about, somewhere along the way, the degree to which one parties preceding the loss of a particularly evil sinful act makes the season of Lent all the more important.

I had, however, one problem.  I was neither good nor Catholic.  But I am a true son of the South and I certainly know how to party.  The fact that this particular party happened to coincide with the period just before Lent was strictly coincidental.

But I was game.  Besides, she had asked.  It was, indeed, the only thing she had asked of me since we had met.  And I felt I owed her an answer.  Particularly since I had asked a good bit more from her.  And she had given.  Happily.  Without hesitation.  With vigor.

“Have you ever been to New Orleans?”  I answered her question with one of my own.

“What has that got to do with Lent?”

Hmm.  She was not going to be easily put off.

“They’re real good about giving things up down there,” I said, finally giving her an answer.  Kind of.

“Tell me about it.”

“There’s a Gavin Convention going on,” I said, trying to sound excited.  “A bunch of radio and record people will be running through the French Quarter at all hours of the night.”

She popped her gum loudly.  “And?”

“And there will be a bunch of panels.”

She leaned back and blew the hair out of her eyes. “Panels?”

“Yeah,” I nodded.  “Different people will sit and discuss different topics for what seems like hours.  The audience will nod off…those who don’t leave…and after each is over, everyone will tell everyone else how boring everything is.”

She closed her eyes.  “I hate this Gavin Convention.”

“There will be some bands playing,” I tried weakly.

I thought I heard a snore.

“Of course,” I stammered, “we could drive to Palm Springs.”

She was in the car before I could find my toothbrush.

Ordinarily, Palm Springs is rather ordinary.  This weekend would prove way different.  Ordinarily, it takes between two and two-and-a-half hours to drive to Palm Springs.  This day we made it in 90 minutes.  Ordinarily, there isn’t a lot to do.  However, this weekend, Palm Springs was the home of the Urban Network Convention.  Ordinarily, Palm Springs is a sleepy little town filled with a lot of old Cadillacs driven by people with blue hair.  This weekend, the place rocked.

From the opening invocation to the Old School party that closed down the house, the Urban Network Convention was the place to be.

For those of you who don’t know, Urban Network is a sister publication of Network 40 and their annual convention rocks the party that rocks the party.

Here was a gathering of radio and record people who were truly happy to be sharing time, space and information with each other…where kinder garden and Old School combined curriculum…where programmers listened intently while record executives outlined their problems…where record executives listened to the problems outlined by programmers…where retailers explained the truth of sales vs. programming.

And the music…only one word describes it…WOW!

From Spearhead, Mozaic, K-Ball, Teddy with Immature, Rahsaan Patterson, Tasha Holiday and Eric Benet to Tisha Campbell and Tichina Arnold, it was nothing short of fantastic.  But the best was saved for last.  For those who believe Elektra’s Sylvia Rhone has the best ears in the business, let me give you just one more example:  Ray J. This 16-year-old younger brother of Brandy is going to be a star.  With his sister singing backup, Ray J brought down the house Saturday night.

Sunday morning, the question was still unanswered.

“Well,” she asked while balancing an ankle on my hip, “have you decided what you’re giving up for Lent?”

I studied the perfect leg through half-closed eyes.  It certainly wasn’t going to be her.  “Absolutely.”

She sat up quickly.  “What?”

“The Gavin Convention.”

She threw her arms around me and squealed, “I’m so glad you see it my way.”

It was an easy call.

2/7/1997

Hold everything.  Stop all the presses.  Notify the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi and whoever else might be interested…the Pope and all other religious leaders…the United Nations…et cetera…et cetera…etc.

Had I thought about it, I never would have believed it would take this long.  Of course, since I never thought about it, I didn’t really know how long it was taking, so that whole point is moot.

I feel so humble.  I know many and far better men than I have spent countless fortunes and lifetimes in their futile search.  Why I was chosen to be imparted with this special wisdom, I don’t know.  There can be no denying the fact that I am now The Chosen One…and the rest of my life must reflect that fact.

I wear the mantle modestly.  Where before I was egotistical and verbose, I now cover my shoulders with a cloak of humility.

“Why me?”  I ask myself.

“Why him?”  Everyone else asks.

Why ask? The bottom line is that I found the answer to the eternal question…the answer no one else could find.  It was revealed to me in the most special way.  It is strange that the search for the true meaning of life has ended in the office of the Executive VP/GM of Network 40.  I found the Holy Grail when I didn’t even know I was searching for it.

Go figure.

How, you might ask, did this come to be?

I was on the phone with a certain Sr. VP of Promotion and we were discussing the offer he just received from another company when the meaning of life became crystal clear to me.  I shared it with him and he agreed.

I would tell you his name, but then I might have to share the spotlight with him.  I shared the secret; that’s enough.  I have only so much humility.  I must take full credit. I mean, it’s only fair.  He was the first to learn after me.  That should be enough for him

Did I tell you how this discovery has changed my life?  I’ll get to that.  But it occurs to me that many of you reading this column don’t believe I’ve really found the secret to the meaning of life.  Right now you think that I’m just meandering to fill space so I won’t have to write about something relevant.

Who can really blame you?  Why should you think that I have discovered the meaning of life?  Am I so special?  There are certainly many more who are more worthy than I.  Nevertheless, the fact is:  I have been chosen.

Or in 1990 parlance, “I the man!”

My life is forever changed.  You’re reading this column now…soon, you’ll pass bookstores that feature thousands of books that I will write on the subject.  I will become a household name.  My words will be studied by millions.  I will become known far and wide as the wisest person on the face of the earth.  Kings and presidents will seek my counsel.  Children will speak my name with reverence.

And if I’m really lucky, I’ll be on Oprah!

What?  You want me to share the meaning of life with you?  You want me to reveal the secret of the universe to a group of lowly communicators and promoters?  Why should you be worthy of such a noble gesture on my part?

You’ll give me a VCR, a track date and send my winners to Hawaii?

Done!

The answer to the search for the true meaning of life?  The secret of the universe?  It’s simple.  It’s…

er.

No, I’m not referring to the NBC hi t series, E.R. I’m talking about er.  Lower case.  Pronounced together.  Individually, the letters don’t stand for anything else.  Just er.

You’re not getting this, are you?

See, when I was speaking with the Sr. VP of Promotion, he told me about another company that was interested in his services.  He told them he was happy where he was.

That’s when it hit me…er.

I said, “You’re happy, but you could always be happier.”

Get it?  Happy-er.

And that, my friends, is the secret of life.  Think about it…er is what drives us…er makes us tick…er is why we do the things we do.

I’m happy.  But does that make me stop seeking out people, places and tings that could increase that sensation?  Of course not.  I want to be happier!

I make a lot of money.  Most Americans would say I’m rich.  But do I put my feet up on the desk and stop working?  Nope.  Why? er.  I want to be richer.

You’ve got the haircut…the shades…the car…the lifestyle…the look.  You are cool.  Do you stop?  Do you back away from that cutting edge because you are cool and you know it?  No sir. er.  You want to be…you need to be…you have to be…cooler.

You’re getting now, aren’t you?  I feel that you are.  Because before you were reading fast.  Now you’re reading faster.

Once you understand that er drives you…that er is the meaning of life…then you can harness er and reach your full potential.

Hey, you’re pretty.  But you’re going to try that new skin lotion, aren’t you?  Because you want to be prettier.

You are smart, right?  But you’re still going to listen when others speak…you’re going to a seminar or two…you’ll be at the panel discussions at conventions…because you want to get smarter.

So the next time someone asks you what you want, tell that person.  “er.”  And as soon as you master er, you can move on to est.

As much as it hurt you to admit I’m right…you know I am.  Come on.  Say it.  SAY IT!

Gerry was great…now he’s greater…soon he’ll be the greatest.

I CAN’T HEAR YOU!

1/17/1997

“You’re nobody ’til somebody loves you…”

This week’s interview is one of the most riveting in Network 40’s history.  Gary Stevens, who has been involved in more major station sales than any other broker, speaks candidly about the realities of mergers, swaps and sales.  It is a must-read for all radio programmers who will be effected by a station sale.  It is also important that all in our industry read this interview to gain an understanding about how the current climate causes reactions from those within the radio community.

Gary shares the back-room strategies among those who buy and sell radio properties, but he also touches on the human aspects of these mega-deals.  Gary is in a unique position to discuss how these deals effect the day-to-day lives of those in radio.  He has one of the most respected resumes in broadcasting.  Gary was a big-time deejay back in the days when being a deejay was the ultimate pinnacle of success.  He was one of the WMCA “Good Guys” in the glory days of radio in the 1960s.  He became a general manager in the Doubleday chain and later was president of Doubleday Broadcasting.  I was fortunate enough to work with Gary twice—in Phoenix at KRIZ and later in New York at WAPP.

Gary is one of the best management executives I’ve ever worked with.  He was one of the few managers who put talent on the same level as sales…in many cases, even above.  Gary always recognized the importance of people in this business.  He was quick to point out that it was the talent of the people inside the walls that made the building worthwhile, not the paint on the outside.  I learned a lot about managing people from him.  He was as quick to praise as he was to blame.  He worked hard on creating a family atmosphere and fought hard for his people when company edicts from the home office tended to ignore the human element.

Indeed, Gary Stevens was the first “Human Resources” person I ever met.  So I felt a great degree of pain when I read his perspective on the current climate of station group owners.  According to Gary, most owners are looking only at the hardware when contemplating future purchases.  Whether a station has talented people or even whether it is successful ratings-wise has less to do with the potential purchase than the hard worth of the station.

“Love is here and, oh my baby, now you’re gone.”

Ouch!

The main reason that drives people into our business in the first place is love.  Nobody becomes involved in radio because it’s easier to achieve big success and extraordinary money than in any other business.  We all began because we loved it.

Why?  Who really knows.  Why was I staying up all night, listening to distant stations from across the country while my peers were getting up at the crack of dawn to fish?  Why was I drawn to the station promotions, so I could meet the deejay, when most of my friends were going to a movie?  Why did I think the deejays on my favorite station were so cool?

I have no idea.  I only know that the love of radio drove me into the business.  In my career, I’ve had the opportunity to program a lot of great radio stations.  Not a week goes by without a couple of programmers telling my they used to listen to KFRC San Francisco, WAPP New York or KHJ Los Angeles or another station I programmed—and they fell in love with radio because of it.

We began because we fell in love.  Unfortunately, the reality today is that the lady we’re  in love with has a heart of stone.

“You broke my heart, you made me cry, you dropped a bomb on me.”

Decisions inside radio stations are made for reasons that have nothing to do with a love of the business…most of the time the decisions have nothing to do with the radio business.  Many companies are buying stations as commodities…as far removed from human reality as trading for sugar futures.

Does this mean that we, as programmers, should develop a hard attitude in our approach to our jobs?  Yes and no.  We should face reality.

This isn’t a mom-and-pop business any more.  When someone speaks to you about a “family” atmosphere, be careful.  The “radio family” of today is mostly dysfunctional.  Daddy might be too close to that chainsaw and mom’s spending way too much time with those clothes hangers.

We still should work in this business because we love it—mainly because we have no choice.  You can’t snap your fingers and fall out of love any more than you can change your feelings because the one you love doesn’t share your emotion.  But our love of doing a great job should manifest itself within each of us.  Do not expect that love…the attention to detail…that willingness to work long, hard hours…the ability to be there until the job gets done…don’t expect that to be rewarded in kind by most managers or owners.  They don’t have the liberty to share the emotion.  They are driven by other forces.

Do your job and derive your pleasure from what it gives you inside…not what it gets you from others.  The truth of the matter is that most times, they don’t care.

There was a time when a station’s worth was judged by what it accomplished.  Today its worth is based more on its location and how it fits with others in a future chain than its success.  This can make it extremely frustrating for those who work to make their place of employment a winner.  But fear not.  The time is coming when stations will have to begin paying off.  The prices paid will then be judged on actual worth rather than what someone else wants to pay for them.

That’s when talent will again become the important commodity.

Until then, “Love Stinks.”

12/13/1996

Was this planned?  At the beginning of 1996, did we plan to pull the covers over our heads and take a holiday nap at the beginning of December?  Or did we just eat way too much turkey and dressing for Thanksgiving, gain so much weight and lethargy that we couldn’t (or wouldn’t) put forth a big effort to close the year with a bang?  Are we too tired, too lazy, too content…or, in some cases, too ignorant of the facts to make the final push that separates the big winners from the also-rans?

Or was this just another one of those famous “mistakes” that so often happens in our industry…you know, those things that “just happen” and turn first into legend, then tradition.

Or is it all my imagination?

Hello?  Is anybody there?

I’m speaking of the decisions made by some record companies to curb their promotional efforts leading up to the Christmas holidays.  It is evident that record companies that don’t have releases shouldn’t waste their time and efforts pushing stiffs up to mid-chart.  However, record companies who make conscious decisions to decrease promotion and sales efforts in December because of a belief that airplay is tough to come by might be guilty of reasoning accurately to an inaccurate conclusion.

Often, particularly in the promotional ranks, decisions are made based on what promotion executives think radio believes.  Too often, these assumptions are wrong.  The symbiotic relationship that tenuously exists between radio stations and record companies is at it’s weakest during the Christmas holidays.

Record company promotional teams usually close their doors over the holiday period…some for as many as three weeks.  Radio programmers work through the holiday vacations…many pulling air-shifts on Christmas Day.  Certainly, no programmer or music director is allowed two to three weeks of vacation.

After Christmas means more advertising.  There are sales, special end-of-the-year offerings, sales, New Year’s parties, sales, New Year’s concerts and sales.  Did I mention sales?

The point is, radio has no choice except to work.  The jocks are on the air, commercial logs are in the control room and music logs must be run.

Ahh…Music logs

Have we struck a resonant chord?

No matter what a record company believes or promotes or does, programmers will change the music on their radio stations every week through the holiday period.  So you think that song you’re promoting has just about lost its vitality and you can put it to sleep three weeks earlier than you would under normal circumstances because it’s Christmas.

Wrong, no-bullet breath.

Programmers are looking for fresh, new product.  There is probably no other time of year better than right now when you can “sneak” a song on radio stations.  So many promotion people get insane because programmers don’t give their record enough time to begin to stimulate sales and requests.  Quit bitching.  Your time is now.

Unlike any other time of year, true promotion people can make a difference over the next couple of weeks.  If you’re good enough to convince a programmer to add your record on the basis of sound (hey, how many opportunities do you get to do that?), you have the chance to get your record burning into the audience for a good three weeks before accurate information can come back to the programmer for evaluation.  Few stations do audience testing during the holidays because listeners’ habits are different-but they still have the radio station tuned in.  And if your record is on, they’re hearing it.  Maybe they’re hearing it a lot and, if you’re lucky, liking it.  Then, when Pauley Programmer starts up those call-outs after the holidays, maybe your record has enough momentum to show up big.

And guess what?  All of those other promoters who didn’t bother with the station before the Christmas holidays will be a day late and a dollar short when they’re asking for adds during the first week of January.  You’ll already have a head start.

Just because record companies take a long holiday over Christmas doesn’t mean radio stations do the same.  The opposite is true.  Radio doesn’t take a holiday.  And music is critical to radio all the time…but especially during Christmas when new product can get increasingly stale.

Record companies should actively promote programmers through the 20^th of this year.  Don’t worry about them not being there.  Trust me.  They will be.  And promotion should begin again on January 2^nd.  Again, don’t worry about a programmer not being back from vacation.  The truth is, most won’t leave.

Radio people are accustomed to working over the holidays.  And because many record company promotion teams are “over and out” during the same period, a good promotion executive can find quality time with a programmer simply because there’s nobody else around.  I’m not suggesting you to call on Christmas Day, but the days leading up to Christmas can prove a lot more productive than all those other days when the call-waiting feature on the music line was overloaded.  It is a promotion person’s job to find better ways.  This is an easy one.

Record companies with hit records will promote during the Christmas holidays.  Those that don’t, probably won’t,  but is it happenstance that those who continue to work harder have hit records?

I think not.