Twas the week before Christmas and all through the nation,
Record companies shut down and stopped calling stations.
Stock options were hung on the chimney with care,
In hopes a bull market soon would be there.
I was excited, Gary was calm,
We just had come back from a bite at The Palm.
When out in the atrium there came a loud moan,
Gary said, “What in the hell’s going on?”
We dashed through the doors and what did we see,
But reindeer and Santa crashed into the tree.
We rescued the S-Man and brushed off his face,
“I can’t make it,” he said, “you must go in my place.”
“Line up the elves,” Gary yelled, getting mad.
“Come Dina,” I shouted, “Get Stephanie and Brad.”
Michelle will coordinate, Art, come along,
And Kris will be happy to say we’re all wrong.
Tiff claims a window seat so she can say,
“Bye-bye” when she throws Jeffy out of the sleigh.
EMT Greg-boy will keep us alive,
And we’ll all hear Kristen as she backseat drives.
“Don’t worry,” said Gary, “We’ll let her rip.”
We jumped in the sleigh and he cracked the whip.
“On Lazy, on Stupid…is that how it goes?”
“And Rudolph, you showboat, turn off your nose!”
“What’s in the bag?” Gary asked with a smile.
“Presents,” I answered, “for all those worthwhile.”
For Andrea and Danny, a Siamese Cat.
For Kilgo, a comparison with that of a gnat.
More money and power for cool Phill Costello.
And Father Palmese will be a rich fellow.
Curb’s crossing Country with our dear boy Ric,
A new watch for Blair…will that make him tic?
A lion for Boulos so he will be brave,
Chocolates for Lisa to help with her Crave.
A new staff and new hits for our man, Catania,
For Tipp and Reprise, another Platinum Enya.
One more big box set and a smash for Greg Thompson,
A partner for Darus so he won’t feel lonesome.
A new Island President so Joe has a boss,
More adds for Geslin, no matter the cost.
For Brenda, a baby, oops she’s got that already.
In ’98 Nancy will find her a steady.
Air conditioning for Ellis, the Mercury’s rising.
A way for Steve Leeds to stop the conniving.
For Michael, a virgin, and no, that’s not funny,
Look what’s for Stuey…the head of a bunny!
A turn that is worth it, for Ritchie-boy Bloom,
Get well to Becce, it can’t come too soon.
A computer that’s not Jive for our friend Jack Satter,
For Burt and the WORK Group, the rest of the platter.
For Karmen, our sister, an antique Whurlitzer,
And I’m going to get the coveted Pulitzer!
“That’s all well and good,” Gary laughed with much glee,
“But there’s one big question…what’s in it for me?”
I searched in the bag for any more riches,
But all I came up with was ashes and switches.
“You don’t have to worry,” through the wind Gary called,
“I don’t have a gift? Why I’ll just take them all.”
Gifts or no gifts, may I say on this date…
“Merry Christmas to all…and a great ’98!”