Month: December 1995

Merry Christmas

12/15/1995

We wish you a Merry Christmas, we wish you a Merry Christmas, we wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

It’s that time of year again.  The time of year to feel melancholy, think back over the past year, remember only the good times and pretend we really like the people we have to do business with on a weekly basis.  Hey, it could be worse.  We could be doing construction work in Chicago.

With all of our warts and boils, with all of the emotional baggage we are asked to carry or ignore, with all the good and bad our business brings, remember this one important fact:  It beats working!

With that in mind, may I pretend to wish all of you my best for the holiday season…and particular gifts from Santa for the following:

For Andrea, a promise that she won’t be deserted at the convention, and barring that, anything in salmon. Danny Buch needs a life…and if you can’t give him that, let him trade his low-power chain for some real radio stations.  Infinity would be perfect.

My good friend Burt Baumgartner got everything he wished for in the move to California this year.  Maybe you could get him a surfboard…no, forget it…I’ll give him that. Justin Fontaine? What does he need with a boss like Burt?

Jerry Blair needs about two more litters of puppies to make his life complete…not to mention all of us who have to take the new ones off his hands.  Pretty soon, the albino German shepherd will be the mascot of our industry.  I could ask you to give Charlie Walk a little more height…but that would be taking a shot and Charlie’s too good a friend of mine to do that.  Lee Leipsner needs something else…I really don’t know what, but definitely something else.

Mark Gorlick needs a few national assistants.  He’s working himself into a lather and needs just a little help.  Maybe send him a couple of elves.  Also, can you get The Palm to put his picture up on the wall?  It’s past time.

Stu Cohen needs a new superstar project to work.  Preferably Larry Bird.  And what about Barney Kilpatrick?  A little more ink.  Hey, Santa, I can even take care of that since Barney is one of those who does more work and gets less recognition than others.  So what else can we get him?  Maybe his own restaurant in the French Quarter.  As long as I can get a table.  And how about a bigger screen for Greg Lee’s computer? He logs more time on AOL than anybody else in the business.

Could you please get Rich Fitzgerald a membership to a country club so he will get over it?  And a replacement for that $1,000 driver.  Maybe take that Deputy Sheriff’s job away from Marc Ratner.  He the most dangerous person in our business, Santa.  He’s ready to snap and licensed to carry a gun.  We could all be in trouble.

Rich Bloom needs a golf club that doesn’t come loose in his hands after he hits it dead right.  Steve Leeds needs an ark for all of the people he’s bringing in at high tide.

Don’t bring Michael Plen anything, Santa.  He’s been a bad boy this year.  Of course, maybe that’s being a little harsh.  He’s pretty much been the way he’s always been.  Your call.

What about Greg Thompson?  Now that he’s doing it his way at EEG, maybe he doesn’t needs a thing.  He got Bill Pfordresher just before the holidays.  Now it’s just a matter of who will win the toss and get to play golf.  The rest of that group is strange, particularly Coddington.  Santa, please let him know that he’s not heavy.  And Mike Whited?  Tell him he must cancel his weak attempt to establish a “Player’s Lounge.”  He doesn’t know any.

Phil Costello needs a new Beatles record.  Oh, yeah, he already got that.  How about some corners in his office?  Jeffrey Blalock needs a lot more frequent-flyer miles and Chris Lopes has got to let his hair grow.  It was his strength.

Don’t let me forget Rick Bisceglia, Santa.  I’m sure you can find him.  And Bruce Schoen? Bring him a number one pen.  He’s been writing with a number two long enough.

And Santa, I don’t wish to bring bad tidings on anyone, but if Lori Anderson ever has trouble at home, please let me be the first to know.  Of course, I’m not sure if having me by her side is a present for her, but I could convince her.  Bring Randy Spendlove some warmer clothes.

Barb Seltzer needs to be on another jury…this time with programmers on trial.  Dale Connone needs a smaller office…to make him look bigger.  What about Hilary Shaev?  An answering machine that gives out really sincere messages

John Fagot wants a new truck and a fishing pole.  Give both, Santa.  He deserves it.  And Tim Burruss needs a bigger budget.  Please, Santa, let him have it!

Joe Riccitelli wants a smoother golf swing and more time to use it.  Vicki Leben needs neither.

Marc Benesch needs to draw some better cards.  Let him hit an inside straight, Santa, but not against me.  And Brenda Romano?  A nice toy to ride beside her in that new car she’s driving.

All Mark Kargol needs is a couple of hit records.  And Lida Galka just needs room to work.

Nancy Levin needs to have more dinners with her secret love.  David Leach needs to hit it straighter.  Not further.  And Steve Ellis needs a sandwich from the Rock & Roll deli.

Butch Waugh and Skip Bishop both need the United States to recognize Confederate money so they’ll be millionaires.  Ray Gmeiner needs to turn Zoo into Jurassic Park with a couple of megatron hits.  Dana Keil should have a rose on her desk everyday.

Mike Becce, Terry Anzaldo, Joe Hecht and Ray Carlton are all in the same boat:  They need more releases.  Double them up.  Ditto Danny Ostrow.  The same could be said for Jack Satter, but I won’t say it.  Give Ric Lippincott a hog.

Peter Napoliello needs that movie part.  If I get my SAG card first, he’s going to snap.  Let’s give Michael Steele a name change so he’ll no longer be confused with someone in radio.

What about Steve Leavitt?  Give him a charge account at The Ivy, though he may already have one.  Give Craig Coburn a promotion.  He deserves one.

And last but not least, give Val DeLong whatever she wants.  She deserves it.

Now bring me some figgy pudding.

Come Together

12/1/1995 

Come together, right now, over me.

The Beatles documentary on ABC garnered a huge audience.  Interviews by and about The Beatles were on every national television newscast, the local news and just about every talk show in syndication.  Time, Newsweek, Rolling Stone, People and every newspaper in America covered the story of The Beatles releasing a new CD with feature articles.  Water cooler conversation centered around The Beatles just like it did decades before when the group released a new record.  The CD set a single-day sales record.  This from a double-CD.

And some Mainstream Top 40 stations didn’t add the new record, “Free As A Bird.”

Am I missing something here?

Countless Editorials, convention panel debates, professional and casual conversations about programming center on the lack of excitement in radio today.  Programmers are quick to stand up and pontificate about the importance of locking in with the lifestyle of the audience.  Programmers cite promotions and public affairs topics that are familiar to their audience as the important factor in focusing on their core.

Here is an absolute lock…something totally contemporary that the entire world is talking about…something positive…not wars or murders or terrorists or gangs…but a positive musical experience that some programmers chose to ignore. 

I’m sorry, I just don’t get it.

Now, I know that those of you who added the record are nodding your heads in agreement.  And I also know that those who didn’t add the record are saying I don’t know what I’m talking about.  You’re saying that I don’t program a radio station, that I don’t understand, that if I was behind the programming desk, my opinions might be different.

Let me expound.

There is absolutely, positively no reason in the world for any Mainstream Top 40 station in the world not to play The Beatles’ “Free As A Bird.” Period.

There is not one person in America who wasn’t insulated from the hype that preceded the documentary and the subsequent release of the single.  There is not one person who wasn’t interested in hearing what the song sounded like.

Forget, for a moment, whether or not the single is a bonafide hit.  Don’t weigh your decision to add the record on whether or not the musical integrity of the track fits perfectly within your flow or format.  The simple fact is that everyone is interested in hearing the song.  Not one person would tune out when the song was played.  Everyone wants to hear what it sounds like…to decide for themselves whether or not the sound lives up to the hype.

There is no down side.

Play the record for a while.  Daypart it in mornings and middays if you must.  Then, after you play the record a few times, let your audience decide whether or not they want to hear it again.

The hype has already been created.  All you have to do is join in.  Mainstream Top 40 stations across the country are falling all over themselves trying to lock into the 25-54 year-old-demos.  Is there a 25-54 year-old person out there who isn’t interested in hearing the new Beatles song?

Give me a break.

Granted, if you are programming to a specific ethnic group, you’ve got a reason.  I’m not sure that a Hispanic Dance station should jump right on that Beatles release.  Or an Urban station station.  But if you’re a Mainstream Top 40 station, what is the reasoning behind not playing. “Free As A Bird?”  Please help me out.  I just don’t understand.

Is it because, as a programmer, you’re so positive that you can pick all of the hits all of the time that you make these decisions for your audience?  So you’re telling me that every song you’ve ever added to your playlist in your career has been a bonafide smash? And, of course, you never missed one either, did you?

Objective decisions about subjective subjects like music are very dangerous.  They’re more than dangerous; they make for boring radio.

It seems that all too often, programmers find reasons not to do something, rather than search for reasons to make positive, innovative decisions.  All of us are responsible for putting music in the box it is in today.  We seem to want more of the same, rather than to seek out a different sound that might be the trend of the future.

If The Beatles’ earlier music had been held to such stringent rules, we would never have enjoyed hearing the innovative, different, revolutionary songs and albums that The Beatles made.  Rubber Soul would never have seen the light of day.  (What? Play cuts off an album with no single release? The sound doesn’t fit what being played on radio across the country.  I think I’ll pass.)  Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Heart’s Club Band? No shot.  (A concept album?  What is a concept album?  I don’t know.  I think I’ll pass.) Magical Mystery Tour? No way.  (Another concept?  I don’t understand.  They’ve got the London Philharmonic Orchestra in there.  I can’t play that.)  And the White Album? Puleeze.  (There are different arrangements.  It’s another album without a single.  Hell, there isn’t even a name on this album.  I can’t play this thing!  How will I know which cuts to program?  It’s much too Underground.)

I am a radio programmer.  I understand, more than anyone else in our industry, the pressures that go with the job.  But I also know that we, as programmers, have to push the envelope, now more than ever before, or the envelope will soon be sealed and we won’t have any other way to go.

Research and consultants have bred a type of radio that is too safe…too cookie-cutter…too boring.  As programmers we must find moments that we can turn into magic.  There aren’t a lot of them.  When we do find something positive…something contemporary…doesn’t it make sense for us to ride it until the tank runs dry?

Beatles giveaways, Beatles promotions, Beatles trivia…aren’t these elements that our entire audience would enjoy…especially with all of the hype that was generated by the TV documentary and other media?  Isn’t this a natural?

And, in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.